Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Special Torture (Part 2)

So I head over to my Self Esteem Crushing Gym (SECG) one day last week and as I go down the stairs, I notice there is a special table set up and they are promoting something.  So they do that sometimes.  It's usually local businesses in the area.  The Bike Rack.  Sweet Greens.

But this time they are promoting Universal Gear (aka Universal Queer).  It's the go-to store for thin, hip, thin, young, thin gays.  So obviously I don't shop there.

The promotion is for their upcoming underwear sale.

So they have some half manikins (i.e thigh to torso) sporting some PUMP underwear.  I know it's PUMP underwear because in BIG BOLD LETTERS IT SAYS PUMP ON THE WAISTBAND.

Anyways, in addition to the manikins, they also have like a little poster.  It's a picture of a guy wearing PUMP underwear.  And it's a rear shot.  And the underwear is so tight and so small, the guy in the picture is showing some significant crack.  Like so much crack that I think the plumbers union would even complain about the amount of crack showing.

Now mind you, it's pretty good crack.

I mean, if my ass looked like that, I'd be sporting that look as well.

But let's face it, the underwear doesn't do that.  Being thin and young does that.

So feel free to talk to porn star look-a-likes at my SECG, but not me.

No.  Do not even try to talk to me about your underwear sale.

I'm going to do my work out and just focus on that.