Monday, May 27, 2013

One Year Ago Today

My sweet boo.

I love you.
I miss you.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The Joys of Dog Ownership

Home early to get my hair cut.  
Walking Suki.

We've passed this dead little bird several times and never even stopped.  

But today, Suki decided that the dead bird was just ripe enough to snack on.

So I immediately try to stop her.

Prying her jaws apart to pull the dead bird out.  

And I succeed.

But yea me.  
I've got a dead bird in my right hand.

We keep walking.  I throw the bird in the trash.  
But my right hand is just covered in dead bird grime, feathers, etc.  

And the smell.

Oh the smell.

We get home.  And that's when I realize that my keys are in my right front pocket.  

In order to not pollute my pants, I'm trying to reach into my right pocket using my left hand.  

It takes a bit, but I finally get my keys out.  

I immediately go to the sink to start washing and disinfecting my hands.

As I'm scrubbing furiously, I look at Suki and say, "That's disgusting."

Her response?

She licks her chops.  

Of course she does.


Sunday, April 21, 2013

Upgrades, 42, and the French

I dreamed of John last night.  We were traveling somewhere, I'm not sure where.  But we had landed and were about to get on another flight when we found out that one of our upgrades had come through.  Key word, *one*.  And so we had this discussion about who should get the upgrade and finally I convinced him that he should take it.  He got on the plane.  And then I got in the back.  And then somewhere in my dream, reality started to emerge.  And I knew John was gone.  And that's when I woke up.  But I woke up with a smile.

This had actually happened to us before on some trip.  To Napa I think.  And we did argue about it and then I finally convinced him that I would be able to better enjoy our time together in Napa if he wasn't trying to recover from being stuck in coach and/or complaining about coach the whole time.  John was big.  He needed first class.  John was first class.

Went to see 42 this weekend.  Good.  But I will agree with one of the reviews I read.  Harrison Ford couldn't have overacted any more if his life depended upon it.  Good movie, but it was uncomfortable to watch at times.  The racism.  The bigotry.  I know it still exists in the U.S.  But I think it's more subtle now.  It's not in your face ugly.  And it was definitely in your face ugly back then.

There's been this talk recently about how there isn't an out gay man in professional sports yet.  There are rumors one (or more) may come out soon.  I really can't imagine that they will have to face the naked bigotry that Jackie Robinson did.  Oh, I'm sure there will be some.  But I think we are more educated now.  And we know that's not right.  Atleast I hope we do.

The French.  Seriously?  Rioting about gay marriage?  Attacks on gay bars?  Violence against some gay men?  Since when did you all become so concerned about marriage?  Aren't you all the people of mistresses and affairs?  Where is all of this anti-gay marriage anger coming from?  It just seems so surreal.  I just doesn't seem like the France I remember.  And I'm not sure I'd want to go there any time soon.  So weird.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

You Left Me

I remember that Thursday night in Nevis.  Sitting on the beach.  Sipping that cheap champagne we had gotten from the gay couple in Antigua.  Watching the sunset.  And we talked about your new job.  About getting married.  Moving to Virginia so you could have your lower taxes.   Buying a house together.  The world was our oyster and I just thought we could have it all.  We both wanted it.  And I think we both deserved it. 

           On the flight back, you got delay at passport control.  With my Global Entry card, I zipped through, but you were stuck in the crazy lines and our connection was tight.  We texted back and forth.  I was flying out to Brussels the next day, so we really needed to get back.  You told me to go ahead and I said no.  I wasn’t going to leave you.  I didn’t want to go ahead through customs.  I wanted to wait for you.  I wasn’t going to leave you.  We were going to make it together.  And we did.  And then that night, after we had gotten home, after I saw you leave in the taxi heading back to your place,  you left me.  You left me here alone.  And I wasn’t ready for that.  I was ready for almost anything, but not that.  Anything but that.   You were gone and I was alone.            

Happy birthday Boo!

I love you.  I miss you.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Bird Man

So John use to complain about living in DC all the time.  His condo was right on Logan Circle and there were quite a few homeless people there so it wasn't that nice.  And apparently he was walking Suki one morning and some guy was taking a dump in the circle.

I would always brush it off by saying: "Local color!"  I just didn't think it was that bad.

But now . . . . .

So some loser has been throwing gigantic chunks of bread all around the neighborhood.  And of course Suki loves to grab them and suck them down before I even have a chance to see what it is, much less stop her.  And it's everywhere, so I'm constantly keeping her at a short lease so I can make sure she doesn't inhale an gigantic pieces of bread.

So the morning I was heading to jury duty, I came out of my condo and I say a guy throwing some bread and crumbs over the fence at the apartment building across the street.

So I walked over to him and I asked him not to do that as it attracts rats.  Which we have plenty of.

And he said there were no rats (?!?!?) and that it was for the birds.

So I said that even if there weren't rats, and there really are a lot of rats on my block because of the two hotels behind my building, I say my dog eats the bread and I don't like her doing that since I don't know what it is.

And then he said that's my problem.  And he started walking away.

Now I was stunned by this whole little episode so I maybe have raised my voices as he walked away and I said, "No, it's everyone's problem since it's littering."

Just just blew me off and told me to calm down.

And so naturally that just made me mad.

I did look it up and it is a DC Health Code violation, but it's not like I can call the cops on the guy.  The next time I see him, I'm going to video tape him and post it to youtube.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Special Torture (Part 2)

So I head over to my Self Esteem Crushing Gym (SECG) one day last week and as I go down the stairs, I notice there is a special table set up and they are promoting something.  So they do that sometimes.  It's usually local businesses in the area.  The Bike Rack.  Sweet Greens.

But this time they are promoting Universal Gear (aka Universal Queer).  It's the go-to store for thin, hip, thin, young, thin gays.  So obviously I don't shop there.

The promotion is for their upcoming underwear sale.

So they have some half manikins (i.e thigh to torso) sporting some PUMP underwear.  I know it's PUMP underwear because in BIG BOLD LETTERS IT SAYS PUMP ON THE WAISTBAND.

Anyways, in addition to the manikins, they also have like a little poster.  It's a picture of a guy wearing PUMP underwear.  And it's a rear shot.  And the underwear is so tight and so small, the guy in the picture is showing some significant crack.  Like so much crack that I think the plumbers union would even complain about the amount of crack showing.

Now mind you, it's pretty good crack.

I mean, if my ass looked like that, I'd be sporting that look as well.

But let's face it, the underwear doesn't do that.  Being thin and young does that.

So feel free to talk to porn star look-a-likes at my SECG, but not me.

No.  Do not even try to talk to me about your underwear sale.

I'm going to do my work out and just focus on that.


Friday, February 22, 2013

Special Torture

So after the cruise (and yes I'll come back to that), I decided it was time to really got back to the gym.  So I signed up for a personal trainer and now I've got a perky little sweet young thing who has never had a weight problem in her life punishing me on a weekly basis.  So I've got that going for me.

Anyways, tonight was an "off" night but I still wanted to work out and I thought I would hit the pool.  My self esteem crushing gym (SECG) has two of those flowing pools where the water flows and you sort of swim in the middle?  I've used them before and they are not particularly fun, but they are good work out.  So I decided to do the treadmill for 30 minutes and then swim for 30 minutes.

Which is all good, but this required me to use the locker room at the gym.  And that's normally something I avoid.  Ostensibly because I live a block away so I can change at home, walk to the gym, work out, come home, shower and change, etc and so I don't need to lug my gym bag full of stuff there.  Now the real reason is that like most gay men I've got a healthy case of body dysmorphia.  And since half the guys at my gym look like porn stars, I've just avoided the locker room.  Why feed my body issues (so it speak).

Anyways, I braved the ripped abs and chiseled torsos in the locker room, changed into my swim suit and went down to the pools.  I got in and finagled with the controls.  You need the water flowing at a certain rate so you stay in the middle of the pool.  If you swim to slow, you ended up banging your feet on the back rim.  If you swim to fast, you jam your hand on the metal covering of the water pump.  So I get in and set it for a moderate pace.  I haven't swum in while.  So I get into position.

And that's when I notice there is a mirror below the water pump.  It's there to help you stay in the right position in the pool.  Which is great.  But unfortunately it also shows my whale-like body that I'm pulling through the water.


Isn't the exercise punishment enough?

And now I can't lift my arms.  That's normal.  Right?