All About Trey

I went to go see this tonight. I'm so glad I did. It was touching and moving and just amazing. And I actually learned some things also. One of the major players in the film is Bishop Robinson and I thought back to the summer of 2004, the summer his election to the Diocese of New Hampshire had to be consented to by the Episcopal Church's General Convention. Dad and I were on a Backroads trip in Denmark and after a long bike ride, we would relax in the room watching a bit of the tube. And usually watching BBC. Being British, the General Convention was getting lots of coverage. And I remember my father using such hurtful ugly language and me getting mad. Wanting to tell him that I was just like that person he was denigrating and denouncing. But I didn't. I told him that I had friends that were gay and that I didn't appreciate his language. That he made himself sound stupid and hateful when he used such language. That he knew better and then I walked out of the room lest I say anything else. I wasn't ready to be that honest with him.

Honesty. Integrity. These words were used a lot in the movie and oddly enough I thought about the latest right wing republican gay sex scandal. But to be honest, it's not really a gay sex scandal. This sad man has wrapped himself up in a series of lies, built his life around them, believed in his own ability to separate himself from the reality that includes his same sex attraction. It doesn't mean he's gay. Like Mr. Wide Stance, I don't think he's gay. In this context, I will say that being gay is a lifestyle. Being gay is being open and honest with yourself, living with integrity. But he can't say that. And because he can't rip apart the foundations of the lies that he's based his life on, he can't be open, or honest, or live with any type of personal integrity. Instead, he has to have furtive and all to often illegal or dangerous sex to deal with his same sex attraction. It really is sad.

And I can see how it can happen. I really do feel sad for the man.