Friday, February 06, 2009

Salad Snob and Coming Out (again, and again)

So I just got back from Nof&ck. Yes, my favorite place. And to be honest, this was one of the most useless trips I've taken down there.

Anyways, one of the reasons I don't like Nof&ck is because the food is not great. I'm back on my Atkins diet (after a weekend of key lime pies and a MONSTER brownie sundae at the the local hipster hangout) so I'm working the salads. And on the Navy base, not so much. So I spend lunch at the Ruby Tuesday. Yes, I know. But it's close to the base and the food is slightly above marginal. The pickings are slim so you take what you can get. But here's the deal, the salads are okay, but would it kill you to mix the salad for me? After the nice salads at Cosi or Chop't, I kind of expect my salads to be pre-mixed. And it's not like I'm lazy. Well, kind of. The real issue is that when you've given me this beautiful salad with a stip of tomatoes, a strip of chicken, a strip of cheese, a strip of hard boiled eggs, etc across the bed of lettuce, it looks really pretty. But it's a pain to toss it myself. I end up getting a good portion of it on the table. You've got the big bowls back there to mix the salads, can't you do that for me?

Well enough of complaining about that.

So . . . . I had dinner with an old Navy friend of mine while I was in down there. And it's not like I ignore my old Navy friends, but most of them aren't in the area anymore so I haven't had a chance to tell them that I'm gay. And I did tell somone via email that I was gay and apparently you're not supposed to do that. It's not quite as bad as a text message breakup, but still. Anyways, it was great to see her and we started to catch up on our lives. And I knew the whole gay thing was going to come up. And when she mentioned going on chuch missions, I kind of winced inside. I'm like, this could be ugly.

And after giving her five minute highlights, she said, "So what's going on with you, who are you seeing, what's her name?"

And so I smiled a bit said, "His name . . . . . is X."

And she smiled in return and laughed a bit. She said she was cool with alternative lifestyles and kind of rambled on for a bit.

And while I am happy that my coming out isn't going to be an issue with our friendship, I've got to be honest and say the whole "alternative lifestyle" thing rubs me the wrong way. It kind implies choice. And being gay is definitely NOT a choice. But I think that mentality and the use of that phrase is kind of common among certain people of a certain age. So I just sort of bit my tongue and kep on with the conversation. I really appreciate her accepting me as I am and I didn't want to make a point out of it as I don't think she really has an issue with it.

Anyways, so the coming out process continues.

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At 5:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have so many things I want to discuss with you--like the major paper I did at NPS in 1992, subject was (to paraphrase) Homesexuality in the Military analyzed through Religious, Cultural, Scientific and Legal criteria. The ultimate point was that homosexuals have always been in the military (plus every other facet of life)...I still have the paper. Anyway, sexual orientation is not a choice...completely agree with you there.
Something interesting happened in my Master Gardener class on Tuesday. The instructor, a young woman, made reference to her partner and in the next sentence identified her partner as a "she." She was so natural saying this. She struck me as a wonderfully confident person, considering that in the audience of about 50 people, most folks were considerably older that she is (and maybe more conservative and up-tight). But then, maybe gardeners tend to be pretty tolerant kind of folks...dunno.
Was I the email-notified person? Truthfully, I'm so HAPPY you told me. This may not be a very good comparison, but I've had to squash so much about myself for the last 30 years or so, that I can appreciate a bit the relief of just being who you really are.


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