Sunday, November 11, 2007

This Vacation Has Been Rated PG-13

So I'm hanging from a zip line careening down the side of a mountain under a jungle canopy. It's taken a couple of boat rides, including a zodiac ride across the bay of Puerto Vallarta, a really bumpy truck ride to the base camp, and then a mule ride to the top of the mountain to begin the journey back down, which will include zip lining into pool of water and rappelling down a cliff next to a waterfall. And I'm thinking that this vacation really is PG-13. And I think that because of the two girls who are ahead of me who are just precious. And yes this is a gay vacation, and I do mean girls, not gurls. One of them is here with her father, and her friend is tagging along as well. And I think it is awesome that they are here with their father and his partner. They are both 20ish, and just too cute for words. Actually it's kind of funny to see the straight tour guides work the two girls hard, just outrageously flirting with them, and then they completely get flustered when one of the boys tries to flirt with them.

So back to my PG-13 meme. Look, it's never going to be G. We are talking about a resort full of gay men. But the resort is not clothing optional, so no bare asses just hanging out. Which is not to say that there isn't plenty of skin. And quality skin at that. Really, if you want to go to a resort and see guys in speedos and square cut bathing suits, you want to go to one that's chock full of gays. Because just demographically I think we can pull it off a lot better that a resort full of straight folks. Not to say that we didn't have a small portion of bears with us, but really, the gays invented the Adonis complex years ago. As GreekBoi said as he looked around the pool, it's like an Ang Lee movie: "The dialogue is weak, but the scenery is just fabulous." Speaking of dialogue, sure there's some language, mainly the F-bomb, and some same sex PDA, but we're talking holding hands and kissing, nothing too wild and crazy. And I'm assuming that since both of the girls are in college, they've seen wilder. Of course this isn't to say that haven't been some late night "eXXXtracurricular" activities in the hot tub or on the beach, but nothing lurid or scandalous during normal hours. So basically it's PG-13.

Of course I didn't get the memo from Gay HQ that cockrings aren't just for evening wear any more. There were a lot of men who were putting their packages out for inspection by using a cockring under their bathing suits. Talk about not leaving a lot to the imagination. And while Abercrombie and Fitch is still the #1 age inappropriate clothing line, I think Hollister is coming up a close second. If this trend continues, in a couple of years men over 40 will be sporting too tight tee shirts from Sandbox Couture. Oh, and mangrooming is still the rage. I was chatting with D from LA who had a very nice chest and asked if he was naturally smooth. And he said of course, everyone in LA is naturally smooth, naturally tan, and naturally has white teeth. I really do hope his eyes were naturally blue. They were great. Now having said all of this, it was definitely not a resort full of perfect gay Ken dolls. The guy who won the best tan line contest was actually over 40, didn't have a size 30 waist, but he did have a great tan line and just seemed like a nice guy in general. So we had guys in all shapes and sizes. Oh, and we had two lesbians with us. Love them. And the funny thing is after two weeks of gay men, then next group coming in to the resort was from Olivia. We'll get back to that in a few moments.

The resort was great. A very nice large pool, great beach with little palapas for shade, several restaurants, and the rooms were fantastic. This beat the Atlantis Cancun trip in 2005 hands down! Like the Cancun trip, the pace was a bit slower than on a cruise. Which was good for me as I was having some minor issues all week (headaches, weird heartburn, etc) which I think was mainly related to coming off the cytomil. Again the group was very diverse from a body shape perspective to an age range. And like Malcom (the Altantis MC) said, "This is an attitude free" zone. And it really was. Having said that, there was one guy there who apparently lied about his age. If he's 22, then I'm 23. He was a complete hottie who I think was 17! And there was a persistent rumor that he was there "working." I think I saw him and the potential sugar daddy at the White Party getting a bit touchy feely, but I could be wrong. However, that is one way to make sure you have a "good time" on vacation.

Speaking of "fun", apparently there were a lot of people "working out", "taking naps" and oh I just need to "get out of the sun for while." But between being tired a lot, the headaches, etc, I didn't have as much "fun" as I would like. And there, I think I've completely over-used the quotation marks to imply sex. I did dance a bit and really enjoyed that. But mainly at the t dances as the late night parties were too much for me. I did a quick walk through the 80s party when it started at 11PM and that looked like fun, but I was just wiped out. And I did take a good alcohol & food induced disco nap for the White Party, but that really only got me to 130AM or so. Definitely not the early morning hours which is when it usually ends. Speaking of, I need a new white party outfit. My choker white uniform is getting old. And I can barely fit into it.

Greekboi and I both tried to take some personal photos, but not so much. So I'm declaring a photo moratorium on any new pictures of me until I look like this:
Really, I'm doing this for you. (okay, maybe not like that exactly, but less like a beached whale).

The last night was amazing. I heard a new song that's on my must list called Goodnight Tonight. I've ordered it off PerfectBeat so I should have it added to my dance collection by the end of the week. And we had the a perfect sunset as well. As the sun slowly slid into the Pacific, the sarongs came off as people dashed into the ocean for a quick skinny dip. It was great fun, but I did not participate. Maybe next time. Which I think there will be. I really liked the resort, and getting away for a little beach action before winter starts sounds pretty good. And I'm starting to know more people from these groups, so that's fun as well. We had a nice Italian dinner next to the water and then caught Shann Carr's show. She's going to be leaving Atlantis soon and I think her last show will be the March cruise which GreekBoi and I are signed up for. She'll definitely leave some big shoes to fill for Atlantis.

Sadly, I need to go grab some dinner and then start to work. I alteast need to read my email before I walk in the office tomorrow. And this is the week I start round two of the thyroid treatments. So more fun. Adios for now!

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1 Comments:

At 7:01 PM, Blogger C lbs said...

my big question was how much volleyball was t here on the trip? I heard it was almost volleyball paradise...

 

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