So Lawyer X warned me that this was going to be a death march through Disney World. And I'm like, right. How hard could it be? Hard. And unbareably hot as well. See Orlando was having just the most disgusting heatwave. Hot, humid, and oppressive. So trekking across Disney did indeed become a death march. But it’s one of the things you do for love.
Day 1: Disney's Hollywood Studios. I passed on the Tower of Terror, but I did do the Aerosmith Rockn' Rollercoaster. Am I getting old, or are roller coasters just not as fun anymore. Wait. Don't answer that. If you're familiar with Disney, then you know it's all about the FastPass. We had run to the Toy Story ride and gotten fastpasses for that. Lots of fun. Kind of a shoot em up game. LawyerX beat me, but not by much. Not bad considering I'd never done the ride before. Have I mentioned how hot it was? It was miserable. But that didn't stop us. When we started to fade, we would hop into a store for the air conditioning. And to shop of course. We stayed @ Disney's Hollywood Studios till about 3PM before we headed back to the resort of a quick disco nap. Because that afternoon (like around 5PM), we headed to the Magic Kingdom for Mickey's Not-So-Scary Halloween Party. It’s a special night at the Magic Kingdom where all of the characters dress up in Halloween costumes, there’s a special parade, and there’s trick or treating. Yep, in addition to the most delicious, but seriously not good for you food, we were trick or treating. And while we didn’t have costumes on LawyerX’s sister got us devil horns that had red lights in them. Very cool and the added bonus of helping to keep track of our party amidst the hordes of Disney. More food. More rides. More candy. Just more of everything. The fireworks and laser show at the Magic Kingdom was amazing. When we finally bailed around 1130PM I was ready to admit defeat.
Day 2: Slept in. Thank God. And then we had a lazy day planned by going to Blizzard Beach. It’s one of the water parks at Disney. And the fact that it was another hot, humid, sunny day was actually a good thing. The first thing we did was the lazy river, or whatever they call it. Just riding around the park in an inner tube. It was the perfect way to start the day! We then discovered the rafting slides at the backside of the park. In the singles slide, it’s completely enclosed, dark, and you’re slip-sliding up and down and all around. Just a ton of fun. I don’t think the doubles was meant for adult kids like LawyerX and I. Yes I’ll start my diet on Tuesday, but with our combined mass there were a couple of times I thought we were going to go over the slide. It was dangerously close. And fun. After we did that four or five time (no lines!) we headed around to the front of the mountain for some more slides. This time on rubber mats facing forward. LawyerX and I raced down, but he beat me. Oh well. After a couple of runs, we grabbed a bite to eat and then it was back to the lazy river to relax. The only way it could have been more perfect was if we could float around the park enjoying an adult beverage of our choice. But not so much. No food or beverages allowed at all. Bummer. After a loop or two, we took the chair lift up to the summit to do the Summit Plummet. It’s a 12 story water slide drop. The line was kind of a haze, but great views from the top of the summit. And you know it wasn’t until we got to the top that I started to get scared. Oh well, too late to back down. It was over before you had a chance to freak out too much. I did have to extract my swimsuit from my buttocks after I finally got down. Hmm, the ride was okay. Been there, did that. Done. After the park, we headed back to our resort (Old Key West) for a shower change and then we were meeting up with some folks for dinner at a new Greek place. The chef there was a famous chef from Iron Chef. Anyways, it was good and the drinks were flowing, and then it was time to roll into bed.
Day 3: In theory we were supposed to get up early to see the Animal Kingdom, but we both slept in and then we just decided to head to Epcot. Today was the glutton day. The Disney International Food and Wine Festival. So at Epcot, there is a big lake and around the lake are little stores, restaurants, and rides from countries around the world. So each of the countries has a little amuse bouche (sometimes bigger) plus wines, beers, and other delicious beverages. But the food would have to wait. First it was a fast pass for Soarin. And then we hit the Test Track ride. Eh, it was okay. Then we *had* to do Mission Space. Now I had done this a couple of years ago when I came down for a work conference. I did the Orange, “more intense”, training and I was wrecked for the rest of the day. I didn’t get sick, but I was pretty miserable for awhile. So this time I did the green, “less intense” training and it was fine. The special effects at Disney are really top notch. After that, it was time for Soarin. Very cool ride and special effects. And finally it was time for “2009 Disney Drunk & Grub Fest”. People had actually made t-shirts that said that! Loved it. We started at San Juan and headed counter clockwise around the lake. Have I mentioned the heat. OMG disgusting. Good food, good drinks, and then just the life getting sucked out of us by the heat. I passed on the escargot at France, but we had this frozen Parisien cosmo that was to die for. We pretty much ate, drank, and shopped (for the blessed air conditioning) all after noon. Around 4 PM I had to raise the white flag. I was more than pleasantly buzzed, stuffed, and just drenched in sweat. I needed a break. So I went back to the resort for a quick disco nap, a shower, and a clean set of clothes. When I got back LawyerX, his sister, and his aunt were all winding down their trek. I did get to partake of some of the last food items (perogies from Poland, egg rolls from China, and a fiesta margarita!). Then we stayed for the amazing fireworks and laser shows. It was great and we had a great spot to watch it all. Afterwards, we all headed back to the resort to crash.
Day 4: A surprisingly early get up, which was good since it took a while to pack. LawyerX was taking some of my stuff back to DC since I was heading to Europe directly from Orlando. After a leisurely AM, we hit Downtown Disney for a list bit of shopping and lunch and then it was time to get on the Disney Magical Express back to the airport.
So all in all it was a good weekend. If the temperature had been a little bit cooler, it probably would have been great. I will say that while I’ve always suspected that there is a little 8 year old kid inside of LawyerX, now I know it’s true. And I’ve seen him come out at Disney, while on a ride, or eating a ginormous turkey leg, or getting a picture taken with Doug (from Up!). Squirrel! Just too cute.
My next death march is work related. Orlando to Frankfurt. Frankfurt to Nice. Taxi from the Nice airport to the Nice train station. Train from Nice to Toulon. And then taxi form the train station to the hotel. I’m in Toulon for 2 days for work. Then a train to Paris. Work Friday. Spend the weekend with my sister. And then fly back to DC on Monday. And then I don’t want to get on a plane for a long time. Atleast a month if I can swing it.
Currently in Frankfurt. I got bumped up to Business Class on the Lufthansa flight. See, it pays to be a United Mileage Plus whore. Just need to stay awake till I get to Toulon. Then I can crash.
So I recently complained to LawyerX that we don't do anything gay. And yes this was less than 10 days after coming back from a gay cruise in the Meditterean. He kind of looked at me like I was crazy. Umm, guilty.
So Lawyer X really scored some big points when he got us tickets to see Kylie in Vegas. Now mind you, our fall travel schedule is crazy, but when Kylie comes to the United States, you fix your schedule around her tour dates. So we did. And last weekend we headed to Las Vegas for our fantasy gay weekend! The trip out to Vegas went fine and we got the Encore late in the afternoon. We had just enough time to take a quick shower and sample the buffet (check that off the tourista list) and then headed to the Bellagio to see O. It was actually my first Cirque du Soleil show and it was really amazing. Just too cool. After the show, we checked out the water fountain show at the Bellagio and then sort of wandered down the strip.
We did take a dangerous detour into the Forum Shops at Caesar's where we stumbled upon a John Varvatos store. Danger Will Robinson, Danger! We both found coats that we absolutely loved. Unfortunately, they really didn't fit us that well. Nothing that a couple of stomach viruses couldn't have solved, but still. In the end, no matter how much I loved it, I just couldn't rationalize spending that much for a jacket.
We tried to sleep late the next day, but we were still on east coast time. So we got up and promptly went to the pool. The pool area was just amazing. Several pools and actually some good music. While Lawyer X was working on "The Lost Symbol", I was laughing my way through "Official Book Club Selection." Hey, I did say it was a gay weekend. After a rough afternoon of laying out, we went back up to the room to nap before the main event. We had dinner at Society at the Encore and then headed to the Pearl to see Kylie.
The concert? Just amazing. Fabulous. Fantastic. Keep adding adjectives until you run out. It was that good. Probably one of the best concerts I've ever seen. She looked awesome. She sounded amazing. And I knew almost all of the songs. We had great seats so we had a good view for the improvised shower scene:
Love the song. Love the hot dancers. Love it.
Oh, best t-shirt of the night: "Do these jeans make my cock look fat?" I love my people. They are just too funny.
After the concert, we headed back to the hotel to drop off our concert souvenirs and then we headed to the gay club in Vegas: Krave. It was hosting the Kylie concert after party (of course) and was filled to the brim with the gays. So we had a good time getting our groove on and dancing up a storm.
Waking up way to early the next morning, we hit the spa for the sandalwood scrub and hot stone massage. It was OMG expensive, but totally amazing. Just so wonderful and relaxing. Which was good because the flight home was not fabulous. After a quick bite to eat, we headed to the airport. Our flight to St Louis actually arrived 30 minutes early, but our flight to DC was late. And then once we go on board, some moron in first class shoved something so hard into the overhead compartment that it broke the light bulb behind the compartment. It took them almost an hour to fix it (it involved removing the overhead panel) so we were really late getting back to DC. We didn't land until 0130AM.
Vegas? It was good. But kind of overwhelming. And kind of expensive. Totally worth it to see Kylie! Otherwise, I'm not so sure. We'll see.
But that was our fantasy gay weekend in Las Vegas!
