Sunday, August 28, 2005

"About Average"

Trying to describe the way I look is difficult. I'm not happy with the way I look so it's a subject I tend to avoid. When pressed into giving an answer, I generally go for the "rubgy player" look. Stout, a bit muscular, etc. I do have a small layer of blubber around my middle which causes the 35" waist, but I also have some decent muscles which is why I have a 44 in chest. So it's a mixed bag.

On most internet personal sites, they give you a limited selection. For example, on you get the following: No Answer (for those just ephemeral people), Slender, Athletic and Toned, About Average, A Few Extra Pounds, Big and Beautiful, Full Figured, Curvy, Stocky, Heavyset, other. Now is an equal opportunity site, so it needs descriptors for both men and women. I'm never going to pick Full Figured, or Curvy. I'm not that gay. So since I'm a little bit heavy and a little bit muscular, I put "about average." Now in the interest of full disclosure I will also add that I have several pics of my whole body, and yes they are flattering pics, but it should give any interested parties a reasonable idea of what "about average" means, to me.

Needless to say, "about average" can mean different things to different people. For example (and you knew this was going somewhere, didn't you?), I recently exchanged several emails with a gentleman from We talked on the phone and it sounded like we had a lot in common. The pics in his profile were okay, mainly face shots, and a couple of him from a distance or behind other people. He described his body type as "about average." During the conversations he had mentioned taking the Metro to the mall and then running home. And he had mentioned how much he liked his gym. So the impression I had in my mind was someone who worked out, but wasn't some muscle god. Someone who exercises and is healthy, but who actually eats. Someone who may have love handles, but not a complete set of spare tires around the midde. After several conversations via phone and email we agree to meet for dinner. The person I met at dinner was not "about average" in my mind. At 5'11" I'm guessing he was atleast 240. And not muscular at all. And the problem I had is that I sat through the dinner the whole time thinking that either this guy knowingly mis-represented himself, or that I'm completely shallow. And of course, the truth is probably somewhere in between. I was nice and friendly during the dinner, but this was just not going to happen.

I shared this little episode with my sister and she said that while at the Dr's she saw a health segment that said that only 3% of Americans don't smoke, eat vegetables, and exercise regularly. That statistic is just shocking. But probably very accurate.

But back to me, because, as the title says, it's all about me . . . . I do need to lose weight. The personal training thing has been good and I've seriously gained some muscle mass. But I haven't exactly been dropping the weight. And yes I know when I convert fat to muscle I may not lose weight. But my pants aren't getting any looser either. So my trainer has decided that we're going to do weekly weigh ins. My first one is tomorrow night. So we'll see. Maybe soon I can move from "above average" to "athletic and toned."


At 4:09 PM, Blogger Chris said...

"my pants are getting any looser" --does that mean you have standards with who can get in them? Sorry, decontextualizing gets me into such trouble.

My way to manage my body shape is to have weights while I watch TV. I just can't sit still--I have to be moving something.

At 12:20 AM, Blogger d.K. said...

I've taken a break from the blind dating scene (in favor of a "regular friend", but I always underestimated myself intentionally in descriptions. I think that's really the way to go. I've been "burned" (is that the word?) like you, where I end up meeting the blind date and there is no resemblance at all to what had been stated or at least implied. In fact, once I swear my date was 20 years older than his picture. Regardless of how someone looks, that initial dishonesty is a total turn off to me. I've had spectacular luck as well, but all in all, I got tired of the hook up thing. (it goes in phases, so who knows when this current one will end, LOL)


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