Monday, October 24, 2005

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

It's not just a DoD policy.

I came home from the cruise and finally looked at email. Three from my Dad. He told me that he loved me and thought I was a good person. But he said that he felt like he had been kicked in the balls, that he didn't understand why I was putting him through this pain/anguish, that he didn't understand why I was telling him this now. He doesn't think that things will be the same between us. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't see any reason to talk about it. Why wasn't "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" an option.

I called them tonight to chat. About work, the cruise, etc. Since we never talk about personal stuff, it was easy to avoid the issue. Which is what I thought he wanted. But barely two minutes into the conversation, he told me to have a good night and said goodbye.

Deep breathe.

All things change in time. My relationship with my Dad changed significantly after his accident. And it changed for the better. I hope in time that Dad will understand, and respect, my need to be honest with him. And I hope our relationship will be stronger and better because of it.

He's concerned about what my sister or Mom will think, say, do. So I need to write him again to reassure them that they know. My sister is good with it. My Mom? She still needs time I think.

Time. Love. And Patience. I think it will all work out. I pray that it does, I really do.


At 3:59 PM, Blogger Vig said...

You did the right thing in not waiting until Christmas. He needs time and space for a time. It will pass. I'm sorry it wasn't easier. I think it will be ok. My thoughts are with you.

At 9:39 PM, Blogger KOB said...

I'm touched by your posts, the honesty and candor.


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