Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Crew Club

No. It’s not a sporting club. It’s an adult, on-site, entertainment club for men. Or, in common terminology, a bath house. Hidden behind a dirty, dingy little façade on one of DC’s main thoroughfares is an honest to goodness sex club. Though I wouldn’t really count on the honest or goodness there.

Of course, I’ve never been in there. Not that I haven’t ever stepped into such an establishment, but I’ve never been in the Crew Club. Someone once explained it to me this way: “You don’t piss in your own sandbox.” And of course, even if you have your favorite room there, you never, ever, admit it.

But seriously, I’ve never been inside. But I see the advertisements for it in the Washington Blade all the time. It’s always some picture of a hot shirtless guy who just wants some fun. Yeah, I’m sure all of the clientele are 22 year old jocks/nymphos. But hey, you need to market to your audience and so that works. It does catch my eye.

For a while, they were promoting the fact that there was a gym on site. I’m sure it’s like a crappy hotel gym with a couple of dumbbells, maybe a stair-master, or a stationary bike. But think about it for awhile, you’re in a sex club. Do you really want to sit on that bike seat? And really, if you’re seriously interested in working out, do you really think a sex club is the right place? On the other hand, I guess you could ask all of those hot shirtless jock/nymphos who are just wandering around for some lifting techniques. Yeah, that’s it.

The new advertisement angle that the Crew Club is using to get customer is the fact it now has Wi-Fi!! Yep, wireless connectivity is now available at the Crew Club. Okay, I have to ask. WTF? Wireless connectivity at a sex club? Am I missing something?

Are you going to go online to ManHunt or M4M and cruise for sex while you are AT a sex club? How lazy are you? Get you ass out of the little cubicle and just wander around! Be social for a change!

Or, is this for your mid-day customer who had to leave the office to “take a meeting” downtown. So there he is working on some marketing spreadsheets while some other guy is giving him a blow job? He’s got one hand on the key board of his laptop and the other on the back of the guy's head pushing it down while saying, “Oh that’s it, YEAH, that’s IT, oh YEAH, oh YEAH, that’s IT, oh YESSS!!!!! I’ve finished my quarterly sale report!!!! Fuck YEAH!!!”

2 Comments:

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Chris said...

If you think about doing your workout and then getting a reward afterwards, then the "bathhouse membership" might be the right thing to keep you on track. That might be a very attractive carrot for some guys.

Commercially, some bathhouses are licensed as "gyms" so they need to have equipment in proper working order and in a reasonable amount. They explain that "some customers like private changing rooms." Riiiight, and the steam room has a condom dispenser for what reason?

 
At 4:27 PM, Blogger Michael said...

It's probably because A. it's boring there sometimes, so you have to have something to do, and B. after you have sex, you take a break, and why not surf the net or check your mail til you're ready to do it again?

 

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