Friday, November 03, 2006

Schadenfreude and Sympathy

My first reaction to Pastor Ted was almost uncontrollable laughter. Coming from Colorado Springs, Christian conservative central, I just thought it was too funny. After all of the hateful things that these type of people say, to find out that it's not just the pot calling the kettle black, but involved drugs as well, well it was just too delicious for words. Of course the icing on top of the cake was that this came out just days before the mid-term elections. From a pure spin perspective, this was going to have journalists asking "Kerry who? What joke?" Oh yes, between the one-two punch of Foley and Haggard, the Republican party with their holier-than-thou "family values" mantra must be reeling. I know it's schadenfreude. I know it's wrong to take pleasure from this situation, but after all of the hurtful sayings, the double standards, the lies, the deliberate mis-representations, and above all the just insane hypocrisy, it does feel like a little bit of well earned karmic retribution.

But it is sad. Let's not forget that. If this man was not Pastor Ted, but just John Doe. If he was married with children and he was arrested let's say with a male prostititue (and let's just leave the drugs out of it), then I think it's easier to feel sympathy for the man. He's lived a lie for over half his life. He's built a family, but has to live this secret life on the side. Unlike say a mistress, something that some people may not be ashamed of, he's had to keep this secret, this life, all to himself. Being forced to come out at this point in his life is going to be hard. He probably has no support structure of friends or family to turn to. He's going to be all alone. (and it wouldn't be surprising if he turned to drugs) And he's not the only one who is going to suffer. His wife and children are also going to suffer. They are going to be forced into a new world, under strange and unfriendly scrutiny. It really is sad, and my heart goes out to them. They don't deserve the consequences of these actions. Andrew as always says it better than I.

The closet hurts alot of people. Not just the people trapped in it, but their loved ones as well. And that damage is doubled with they are forced out of the closet. But what is wrong with our society that forces some people to live a lie, to live half a life, to be ashamed of who they are and who they love. It's so sad.

It could have been me. In another parallel universe, I could be married, still in the Navy, and maybe have children by this point. And the lies, deceptions, and subterfuge to keep up appearances over the years, the many years, would have eventually eaten away at my soul and my mind. It's not hard to imagine that after while, something would snap inside and I would "act out" in a way that would probably be stupid, dangerous, and unhealthy. Maybe not, but maybe.

On a completely different note, last night in the cold, I walked down R St towards the Metro, hand in hand with someone special, and just felt as one with the universe. I felt the world spin when we kissed, and not just from the yummy winter mojito I had at Halo. After saying good-bye at the Metro, I walked home, still cold on the outside, but warm and happy inside.

1 Comments:

At 10:10 PM, Blogger Chris said...

I want to see them eat their young. The right folks are so good with their absolute morality that ambiguity like this is just precious to watch.

 

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