Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I'm HOT!!!!!

And I mean that in the most literal sense. When they released me from the hospital this afternoon, I was radiating at about 4 mrads/hour. And that was from about 3 feet away. I'm sure once I left VA (land of the straight and the fat) and I returned to the gayborhood, I probably wasn't hot in any sense of the word. Well that's not technically true. I'm still technically supposed to stay away from people and avoid close contact for another day or two, which is fine. I think I can handle some more quality me time, as long as it's on my terms!

So the bubble room at the VHC wasn't bad at all. On the eighth floor I had a great view of the local suburban neighborhood with a lot of trees in the midst of their fall folliage, so it was quite pretty. And I had the Ballston skyline in the distance. But . . . . it was still a room I was stuck in for over 48 hours.

Let's see, I didn't get the insurance fiasco settled until 30 minutes before I was supposed to be admitted. So I rushed to the hospital and was shown up to the room. In addition to the standard multipurpose/position bed, there was also a great little built in couch next to the window and I envisioned many hours curled up there with my book reading and looking up to take in the amazing scenery. But not so much. No sooner do I arrive than the nurse shows up with a big roll or paper. To cover anything I might touch. Or walk on. So there was a paper path on the floor. Paper covering the desk, the sink area, even covering the toilet seat. Nice. But not on the couch. So no sitting on the couch for me. That's what the bed was for. Anyways, around 2PM, the Dr. shows up carrying what looks like an old ammo cartridge case from my days in the Navy. Inside is another Tungsten feberge egg which holds the radioactive iodine pills. I pop those bad boys, he measures me (I think initially I'm at 42mrads/hours) and then promptly leaves me to my own devices.

Now the good thing is that on Monday I did manage to catch the Project Runway Marathon for season 3, which is good because I missed some of those early shows. So I managed to pass my time that way. Oh, and I read the 8 Time magazines I had brought with me. And while it's easy to bitch about hospital food, I won't. But let me tell, I could do so VERY EASILY!! And as usual, I found it hard to sleep in the hospital. Not because of a noisy roommate, but because my bed wouldn't shut up! It has that air movement thing going on where it shifts air to different parts of the bed for those who are really infirmed and can't get up. Not my problem because between all of the water and tea I'm drinking, I'm up using the bathroom every 30 minutes. I'm really doing my best to flush the radiation from my system. Anyways, as I lay down, about every 5 minutes or so, some motor kicks on to inflate one section of the bed and deflate another. Oh, by the way I still have the perma headache and perma sore throat. And the sore throat sucks really bad because I've been sucking on lemon drops all day to help my salivary glands. So it's not a good night for me.

Day 2 was more of the same. Except it was a marathon of Real Housewives of Orange County? Oh please some one shoot me now. So I started to read the book my Dad gave me about the Incas. He was raving about it and while it's not really my thing I said I would read it. And it's not really my thing. So I would read a chapter, and then surf the TV for a bit. Oh, speaking of surfing. I love the little gizmo that controls the lights for the room, controls the volume, and calls the nurse. But . . . it only lets you change channels going up! Not down! So if you missed something, you had to go through the whole dial to get back to it. Nice. Oh, and you still have to get out of bed to turn the TV off. Hello people, what are you thinking? Anyways, Day 2 didn't really start to suck until about 4 PM. I had a cute little intern come in to measure my radiation. And unfortunately there are no quotation marks for that. He took the geiger counter, stood about 3 feet away and measured how much radition I was giving off. No ring and there was something about the hair that made me suspect he was family, but anyways. After he left, I sort of had a mini-breakdown. Having the perma-headache and sore throat were getting to me. And I was tired and crabby. And dear lord Tuesday night is just a wasteland on TV. I got a new nurse at night and I begged her to turn the bed off and she's like, "I can't. It doesn't turn off." And then I go, well what happens if I unplug it from the wall, and she looks at me and goes, well then you wont' be able to raise the bed into the sitting position. Okay, thank you dear. You're been a peach. Just some more ice water will be fine and then I won't trouble you anymore. And of course once I got my ice water (for my Crystal Light Raspberry Ice Tea of course), I promptly lowered the bed to horizontal, unplugged it, and then settled into a fairly decent night's sleep with only 4-5 runs to the bathroom. Oh, since I'm excreting most of the radiation (yes I know, TMI, but deal with it), they want me to sit down to use the bathroom (less spray-age) and to flush 3 times. There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.

Day 3. I woke up fairly early when I could hear them yelling at a deaf patient down the hall. Again, for all of my bitching (and I am SO good at it), I know I didn't have it bad at all. A lot of the folks in the oncology wing are on hard core chemo and not happy at all. All my schtick about suffering in isolation is nothing compared with what they have to deal with. Anyways, after determining that Today on NBC blows now, I returned to VH1 and apparently it's having some weird Pink flashback moments. So when Pink's new album came out, I was all into "Dear Mr. President." Which is like from April 06. Then they started to play "U and Ur Hand" and of course I had to buy the dance remix to that last summer. And then there was "Who Knew". Again, another Perfectbeat.com purchase in the fall of 2006. Again, LAST YEAR. Then all of a sudden VH1 started to play "U & Ur Hand" earlier this summer, again. And then "Who Knew", again. Its was like a weird De Ja Vouz. And then the other morning I saw a different version of "Dear Mr. President." So odd. Anyways, I sort of read about the Incas until I realized that another Project Runway Marathon was on today! Thank you Bravo! So I spent the day watching that and looking at the clock to see if the real Dr. or intern Dr. McDreamy would come to release me. Well around 2PM, intern Dr. McDreamy came by and measured me again. And I was safe to escape!! They actually got me my discharge papers fairly quickly and I was out of there. Out of there so quickly that they didn't get a chance to cut off my hospital bracelet. Oh well.

Needless to say I'm THRILLED to be home. I start the new thyroid drug replacement, synthroid, tomorrow. Which I'm hoping will help stop the head aches, and also give me some energy. When I get worn out walking to the Soviet Safeway (maybe 7 blocks away), you know that's sad. And I SO need to start the diet. But more on that later.

This Bubble Boy is FREE!

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