Monday, May 01, 2006

Do I Miss the Navy?

A friend of mine is in Iraq now. We worked together in Naples and she left there to get her Masters in Computer Science at the Naval Postgraduate School. Apparently she was offered a chance to volunteer for duty to the Middle East. She "volunteered" to go to Afghanistan, and the navy accepted and sent her to Iraq. The emails she's sending back are scarey and sad and I pray for her every day.

Do I miss the Navy? Sometimes. Not that often anymore. My tolerance for inane BS is almost zero now, unless I'm taking abuse for money. Hey, I am a scum sucking contractor after all.

Anyways, at my farewell from the USS Reeves, one of my friends wrote up a list for "73 Ways to Leave the Navy." Here are some of the highlights

- Buy a dempsty dumpster, paint it grey, and live in it for six months.
- Whenever something breaks, spend atleast 2 days investigating it, until the blame can be put on someone.
- Arrange with the post office to have you mail delivered by helicopter every two weeks.
- Once every three months physically exert yourself, to prove to no one in particular that you can do it.
- Don't allow your children to age without first passing a 150 question test based on information they have no access to.
- Write a 5 page instruction for changing a light bulb. Include all tools needed, all safety regulations to abide by, and level of skill needed to perform the job.
- Pay your barber to cut your hair in a way he was taught not to.
- Once a week hold a one hour lecture on some topic nobody cares about.
- Train everyone to answer the telephone by giving the house address, their name, and rate. Tell anyone who calls that it is NOT a secure line.
- Make everyone accountable for things they have no control over.
- Pick a name from a hat once a week to voluneer a family member to do something he or she doesn't want to do.
- Never Again Volunteer Yourself!

I have the utmost respect and admiration for those still actively serving. But I thank God every day that I'm no longer in the Navy.

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