Thursday, May 25, 2006

Instant Gratification and Cock Rings

Okay, get your mind out of the gutter, it's not like that at all. Well, mostly not.

So when I went to the Dr's last week for my shingles, they wanted me to do an HIV test. Shingles can sometime be an indicator of a compromised immune system. Or a stress freak like me. So I got the test. And they did it the old fashion way where they drew blood. The problem isn't that I don't like needles, well it's not that like needles either, it's that the test results take a week. A WEEK! Hello, the little oral test takes like 20 minutes. That's 604800 seconds as compared to 1200 seconds. And 1200 seconds isn't that big of a deal. I can usually keep the dark downward spiral at bay for 20 minutes. But a week? Not even. That's just way too much time to think about what happens if the test comes back positive. Especially say when you're trapped in a plane with nothing to do. I need instant gratification, or atleast no more than a 1200 second delay. Anyways, it was negative of course. But still.

And speaking of stress, apparently while the shingles are gone, I'm now breaking out with excema. Probably from stressing about the stupid test.

Cockrings. So I forgot to mention a piece of fashion intel from my gay summer camp. Apparently cock rings aren't just for the bed room anymore. There were lots of men who were using the lift and separate function of the cock ring to help make their swimsuit look more. . . more . . . what's the word I'm looking for . . I guess I'll settle for impressive. And at a gay resort I can see the advantage of that. But PLEASE explain to my why some guy is wearing a cockring at the gym. I kid you not, there was some guy who's package was just not normal, and it was noticeably so. This isn't some jockstrap/cup thing. No, there's a whole lot of movement there as well. Don't look at my like that! I was trapped on the frikken stairmaster so I had to people watch to pass the time. Back off! As I was leaving the lockerroom, he was undressing and sure enough there it was. I felt like I was leaving the set of a bad porn movie. Except most of the actors weren't attractive. Anyways, how weird is that?

1 Comments:

At 1:53 AM, Blogger Tim Hedrow said...

I bought Biff a purple studded cock ring to wear when we had sex. It was like sixty bucks. He wore it once and tossed it aside. In the bedroom, I am the giver and he is the receiver.

 

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