I'm tired. Unhappy. Fat. Lethargic. Yet restless. Feel like I need to do something, anything, but can't figure out what exactly I need/want to do. I haven't been sleeping well. Again. So that doesn't help. Throw in a low grade headache for the last couple of days. And voila! I'm in a funk. If I didn't have to go into work, I would just sit in the dark in my bedroom. I almost did that this AM.
Lots of stuff in the news: Gonazales, Craig, the war, etc. I care. But I can't seem to get engaged.
So I have strep. No fever, no irritation in my throat, but I do have strep. Which means that my surgery for tomorrow is probably off. I won't know until tomorrow AM. FU&K! I am not happy. And apparently my GP talked to the surgeon on call since mine was out and said they had a case where someone had strep and when they intubated him, they pushed the strep from the throat into the lungs and then he developed pneumonia and spent a week in the ICU. So that would suck.
Speaking of sucking. 3 units in my building were broken into this afternoon. Mom may have actually seen the guy. Just not good at all!
Again, if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
I've done something to my neck/throat. It almost feels like I've pulled a muscle in my throat. It hurts to swallow, but not in the sore throat way. But it's definitely NOT RIGHT.
And of course I'm going in for surgery TOMORROW! So I'm wigging. Big time.
I'm going to my GP after lunch and hopefully she'll be able to calm me down. If something's wrong and they have to postpone my surgery, I'm going to freak.
Mom's here. She flew in last night with no problems. We're going to do a dry run drive to the hospital this afternoon. I haven't told her about the neck/throat problem yet. No need to worry her. Right?
I may not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I can tell you who I don't want to be . . .
1) I was at a conference this AM and I was probably one of the youngest men in the room. The DoD contracting world is full old white men. And I don't want to be that. I don't want to be doing this in 20 years. I want to work hard, and then I want to semi-retire when I'm like 50 and then go do something I will enjoy that may not pay well, but maybe will make a difference. Like go the non-profit route. If I'm still doing this crap when I'm 60, please shoot me.
2) So I've got a new person I work with in the government who is ALWAYS in a bad mood. This person starts off in the pissed position, and then it goes down hill from there. Never a smile. Never a friendly comment. Always a curt word or a snap, when there's not table banging to make their point. And if something doesn't go as planned, then more frustration displayed loudly to all around. I can't imagine being like that. Isn't it tiring to be THAT angry, ALL the time? I'm surprised they don't have ulcers by now. If you are THAT unhappy, ALL the time, then go do something else!
Ugh. Long day and Mom arrives tomorrow. I need to go de-gay the condo. I'm not totally de-gaying it, just moving the porn, etc. I'll keep the "Sorry Girls I'm Gay" poster on the fridge. She can deal.
So instead of trudging through the sand and marsh to get to the beach, I opted for the Boatslip again. It was a crystal clear day with a beautiful sky, but the wind was whipping. I was scared that it might be cold, but it was my last day and I was going to take advantage of it. Of course I got there early and got a spot by the rail hoping it would shelter me from the wind a bit. And it worked, sort of. So the thing about the Boatslip is that in the AM, they align the lounge chairs to be perpendicular with the water, but around 1PM the chair master (or chair Nazi as I call him) blows a whistle and everyone rotates their chairs 90 degrees to better catch the sun.
So after the chair rotation I am now next to two guys. Two incredibly hot guys. One is tall, white but with a nice tan, muscled in a swimmer type way, short hair with a little bit of grey. Just too sexy. His BF? Shorter than him, latino, dark bronze, and muscled in a good way. It's just unreal. And no, I'm not bitter. Anyways, as I sit there reading my book, I just become stunned by what happens next. Remember the study that said that you have a better chance of being fat if you have fat friends? Well I definitely believe that. I always thought all of the pretty boys hung out together, like they were all part of some secret club that only they knew the secret code word for. As I sat there, at first reading my book, but then just holding my book as I listened to the conversations. Random hot guys would walk up to the couple and just start chatting them up. And no, it's not like they knew each other.
"Hey dude, how's it going? Did I see you last night at Paramount?" "Hey dude, great suit? Where'd you get it?" "Hey dude, you look familiar. Did we meet at the White Party in Miami this year?"
I guess if you are hot, then you just have to expect other hot guys coming up to you and start chatting you up. I guess that's just the curse of being hot.
end bitterness.
Anyways, we haven't talked T-shirts yet. I love Ptown for the t-shirts. A couple of good ones:
"My Dick Would Make a Better Vice-President" "MANWICH" - stretched *tight* across a huge muscled chest "There's no need to be pessimistic, it wasn't going to work out anways." "Sure, I've got 5 minutes." "Define Girlfriend" "I Don't Date Republicans"
Still here, still having a blast. And the sprained ankle is getting better! So let's see, where were we?
So on Wednesday, SuperLawyer left and it was probably good timing. The big event for Wednesday is Drag Bingo! And I don't think that's really his gig. Our whole house was going, so I agreed. But no, I didn't do drag. The theme for Carnival is Fairy Tales, so I was one of Goldilock's three bears. I just had to wear a harness, so no big deal. About an hour before the bingo actually started, we hit Commercial St to parade around. It kind of reminded me of the High Heel Races in DC where all of the contestant/guys in drag would go around and "work" the crowd. And like in DC, half of the crowd was straight, and a lot had children with them. It really was quite amusing to see. We got stoppeed several times by people wanting to take our photos.
Despite the fact that I actually won $50 during drag bingo, it really wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. Dixie Longate did such a good job entertaining us during the drag bingo on the cruise that I was expecting some fun, catty, quips to entertain us between the calls, but not so much. Plus they were on a mission. We had to be out of there by 930PM, so they were motoring. After bingo, I changed clothes and went out to drink my winnings. Well, I did have a couple of drinks.
Thursday was another glorious day in Ptown. After getting up late, I walked down to the BoatSlip to lay out in the sun. It was packed with guys in tiny little bathing suits. So nice. I'm actually getting a good tan here, which is definitely a hard thing for me. So now if I could just be tall, have a small waist, and a ripped chest I'd fit right in! ;-) Afterwards I went back to the house to change and grab my camera for the Carnival Parade. Again, a lot of people in drag and costumes walking up and down the street showing off and getting their pics taken. And yes some of the drag is amazing and some of the costumes are funny, but most of my pics were of guys in pirate outfits where they basically wore shorts and boots. The parade was kind of like a Pride parade, but with a fairy tale theme to it. We had the city council, the Massachusetts Democtratic Party ("Equal Rights are NOT a Fairy Tale", and then a lot of the shows and guest houses had floats. My house did a DreamGirls theme thing. It was cute. Jeff Stryker came by on a limo wearing some entiretly too tight pants. So there's basically no need to see that show. And still, not my thing. He does look good for his age, but between the pancake make up and the 1980's haircut, it all looks just odd.
After the parade, I went to T. Me and the rest of the town. But I've got to give huge props to DJ Mary Alice! She played a killer set. T actually went till 9 and I think I spent three hours on the dance floor. It was just so awesome. And hot. So yes I danced with my shirt off. After the last song played and they were kicking us out, I noticed a hottie giving me the eye. Of course I thought someone was behind me, but nope, he must have been looking at me. So I looked back. We did the whole exchange glances thing and then I finally went over to chat with him. We were having a good time until the lady sitting next to us turned and proceeded to hurl. So we took that as our cue to leave. We were walking back to his place when we ran into one of this friends. And I'm not sure if it was a friend or a "friend". But let's just say that I ended up going home alone.
Friday I awoke to clouds and an overcast sky. Not happy. This was my day to go to the beach. So I hung around the house and then finally decided to just walk around. But as I was leaving the house, I looked up and I almost saw the sun. So I decided to risk it. I changed into my beach gear, I borrowed a bike, and I headed out. The bike ride was okay and the ankle was feeling pretty good. I got to the trailhead, locked up the bike, and then started the walk against the tidal flats. The tide was out, so while some of the flat was wet, I wasn't wading through the water. That would come later. The walk was okay, but tiring. I finally found my spot in a little area on top of a dune, spread out my blue beach blanket and proceeded to lay out. And then it started. The attack of the bugs. I couldn't take it. After about 5 minutes of continuously slapping at flies and other bugs, I bailed down the front side of the dune closers to the water where there was a bit of breeze. The sun finally did come out and it was glorious. I sat there and basted in the warm sun and watched the guys go by. I also finished book #2, so I'm right on track from that perspective. Around 3PM, I started the hike back. But the tide had come back, so I ended up wading through most of the tidal flat. By the time I got back to the house, I was exhausted which was perfect for my massage. After the message I felt great, changed into my T dance attire and headed down to the Boatslip. Do you see a trend here? T was great. After T I did a little bit of window shopping. A storm came up with lighting, thunder, and a little bit of rain. It was quite pretty. But it passed quickly and then I headed out for the evening.
SuperLawyer and I slept in till almost 830AM. Quite decadent really. And then it was just so sunny and pretty outside we decided to walk around and find a place for a real breakfast. The streets were packed, with delivery trucks, as we made our way down Commercial St. One of the things I love is the alternating rainbow flags and American flags that cross Commercial every 100 feet or so. It's the Ptown tolerance and openness mixed with the New England sense of patriotism. It's just great.
We did find a place for breakfast. Downstairs from where Jeff Stryker's show is! But the food was good. And there was plenty of it. Eggs, sausage, potatoes, and blue berry pancakes! Yummy! We walked a bit after that and then headed to the Boatslip to lay out. We got there at 11AM and not a minute too soon. The place with packed. We ended up getting a spot next to the bar (good thing!) and the bathroom (not so good thing). And let me tell you, you've never seen so much spandex and lycra in your life wrapped around tight, hard golden bodies. Note to self: Must start diet when I get back! So many hotties. And so many guys who are definitely older than me in such good shape. I can do it!
Okay, the drink of the day? Key West Lemonade with Abolute Ruby Red. YUMMY!
So said SuperLawyer as I was pointing at some really hot guy walking by with six pack abs while lamenting my lack of hotness.
Yep, I'm back in Ptown and while I love it, I really do, I just wish that I could come here sometime with a waist. Anyways.
So I get off the ferry on Sunday AM and I start my walk to my guest house. I love Ptown. Such a great mix of people, very friendly, and it's such a cute little town. And the weather is just fantastic. So I'm in this great mood trying to drink all of it in as I pull my suitcase down Commercial St dodging cars, bikes, and other pedestrians. All while checking out the local scenery. Which means that I'm not really paying attention to where I am walking and WHAM I pop my ankle. Well let me tell you, I was not a happy camper. I managed to limp down to the Boatslip where I laid out in the sun with a nice bag of ice on my ankle. As I was waiting for Superlawyer to arrive, I bought an ankle brace which helps. But still sucks. So needless to say a hike through the dunes to the beach is not on my agenda any time soon.
So SuperLawyer and I leave the guest house to go walk around and two guys dressed in IDENTICAL white dress shirts, white shorts, white socks, and white tennis shoes go running by. And not like running obviously, but they are scampering quickly:
SuperLawayer: I know they are together, but do they have to dress exactly the same. Me: And in white? What's with that? SL: Maybe they are getting married? Me: And they are both wearing white? Puh-lease. SL: Well maybe they couldn't decide on who should wear white so they both did. Or maybe they are both bottoms. Me: Then why are they getting married. Wait, why would the bottoms be wearing white anyways?
See, I could never have this conversation anywhere except Ptown.
Speaking of porn, apparently Jeff Stryker is doing some sort of show here. And no, not THAT kind of show. Apparently it's one hour and 11 inches long. Ba-ding! The pics of him aren't the greatest. I think he would look better if he lost the cheesey 1980's hair cut, but this way he looks like his movies. Either way, not interested. I just think it's all kind of sad.
I've never been here during Carnival week, so it should be fun. Definitely looking forward to it.
So I had to take my car into the shop. I'm hearing this weird noise and I don't want to put off getting it looked at. I'm gone next week, and then when I get back Mom arrives on that Wednesday in preparation for the surgery. And I don't want to have her driving my car if there's a problem. So anyways, I take the car to the shop and then I catch the metro from East Falls Church into Rosslyn.
Okay, I'm not normally a metro person. I usually drive because I have to go to meetings at random times to places that are not metro accessible. And taking a cab is not an option. So I'm not used to the swarms of people trying to pile into the metro car at 7AM. It's kind of odd. And kind of bad since there is no AC. After about 20 minutes, it became clear who thought deodorant and cologne was option. Yes, what a wonderful melange of smells to enjoy. But I make it to Rosslyn without hurling.
Meeting at the puzzle palace this afternoon. Walk from my office to the Metro, starting to feel the sweat build up. Get into the metro, again, no AC. Not as crowded, but still hot. I was definitely sweating up a storm by the time I found refuge in the AC of the puzzle palace. The ride back was just as enjoyable.
When I get back to my office, I find out that the shop doesn't hear the noises I'm hearing. And no, these aren't voices in my head. I had other people in my car and they were asking WTF. So they want to keep my car overnight. Not sure why, but the thought of a long metro ride back out to East Falls Church does not appeal to me.
So I walk back up the hill to the metro to go home. Again, the metro has no AC. Plus now it stops randomly in the middle of the tubes. Not once, but several time. I'm wearing my laptop backpack and I can feel it start to melt into my back. I finally escape the metro and then walk the 7 blocks home.
When I get home, I have to peel my dress shirt off my body. Just totally disgusting. And I get to look forward to using it again tomorrow. I'm not sure I could do this every day. I think I'd have to wear shorts or something and bring a change of clothes with me.
And it's really getting old. Wait, maybe that's me.
So when I wake up in the middle of the night and my heel hurts, that's a pretty good sign of my gout coming back. So limped around on Friday and I thought it was getting better (I was taking my drugs), but on Saturday I was hurting bad. Like almost crying bad and I've got a pretty decent threshold for pain.
But nothing less than death was going to keep me from SuperLawyer's 40th birthday bash. He so rocks. He had it catered from Red, Hot and Blue in the a ga-thousand degree heat. Oy vey. It's not like I wasn't in pain already, but then add the heat. Ugh! And he had a great mix of people, young and old, gay and straight, just very cool. So it was fun.
What was not fun is that he had a poster board of pics of him and one of them included me. I looked so good then. Dear lord, what has happened to me. Of course I cried while holding a delicious cupcake that he had made. And with the gout it's not like I could do some manic, obsessive exercising. Nope, it was just home and bed.
I did limp to church today, but that's it. Well I did limp over to Whole Foods to get some blueberries. I've read that they are like a homeopathic cure for gout. I hope so. And for $4 a pack for blueberries, I think my medicine is cheaper!
So I land in Copenhagen a little after noon and head immediately to the ship.Check in is the usual organized chaos.The good thing is that it is frakkin hot in the check in area.Yes the weather has changed and it is sunny and gorgeous.What a great change!So while I’m waiting for my turn to be processed, I check out my fellow shipmates.I do see some people I know who were coming on the trip.The average age is a little bit higher than average for the usual Atlantis cruise.I’m thinking it was more upper 30s-low 40s.Let’s be honest, the cruise isn’t cheap, plus airfare to Europe, so it’s not going to draw the twink crowd.Which is fine by me.Plus it only makes me feel younger!
I check in, get to the room to find my luggage already there and to find a note from Atlantis about the rules of engagement when doing a share.So yes, I was doing the share program and I knew the name of the guy sharing the room with me, but that was it.Anyways the letter recommends spending some time to get to know each other before deciding on how to split up the room, who gets what bed, etc.So I just pulled my luggage into the room and decided to roam for a bit until my roomie showed up.Now this is actually the same ship that I did my first Atlantis cruise on.So I basically knew the floor plan.Anyways I headed up to get some lunch and then to just wander.So it’s hard to explain just how relaxing it is on board the ship.It really does remind me of bring in Ptown.Where everyone is relaxed, in a good mood, happy to be on vacation.So there’s very little attitude.Which is great.
I hook up with the couple I met on my first cruise and have my first cocktail with them.Then it’s back down to the room where I find my roomie.So in it’s a small world after all, my roomie is from Tulsa and friends with the guy I did a share with during the med cruise last year.Just too funny.So we had a good time as we chatted, unpacked and prepared ourselves for the cruise.After the mandatory boat drill (does this big orange life vest make my butt look big?Bigger?), it was time for the ship to set sail to Warnemunde Germany.So we did the sailaway happy hour and toasted our cruise as we left Copenhagen!That night we had our first dance at night club on the ship called “The Bar At the Edge of the Earth.”Let me tell you, it became a running joke on how badly you could make fun of that name.But DJ Abel kicked of the entertainment with some great vocals and I finally got a chance to get my groove on.
The next AM, I think over half of the ship boarded trains to take a 2 hour ride to Berlin.Not me.Today was my personal day.While we did have one day at sea, I was afraid that it was going to be cold, so while we were in port, I just wanted to camp out by the pool, read my book, and have someone bring me my cool frozen drinks.And let me tell you, it was just the most perfect day.Warm, almost hot in the sun.There were enough guys left on the ship to make the scenery interesting.And I felt like it was the first time I really got to decompress while on vacation.Part of me felt guilty about not getting off the ship at all.Warnemunde looked like a cute little German town.Apparently it was where the big whig members of the East Germany communist party would go to vacation.So it didn’t have that overcommercialized feel.Or atleast it didn’t seem that way to me.They brought an Oompah band onto the ship to play on the pool deck which isn’t exactly music to relax too, but they did serve some great bratwurst and pretzels for lunch that day.So I did get a taste of Germany.
After a very strenuous day of tanning, I figured it was time for a disco nap, then the singles dinner, and then time for entertainment.Well the Berlin crowd didn’t get back till late and they said that they all had a great time.But I’m sorry, 4 hours in a train is kind of hard core for me.I’ll get there (again) some day, not on this trip.So the theme party for the night was the Kit Kat Club to kind of play off the night club scene in the WeimarRepublic days.Now in addition to the fact that I had the whole weight issue with my luggage.What exactly were they wearing in the WeimarRepublic days.I keep thinking about Cabaret and I think of black skimpy outfits (not for me thanks) and black uniforms.Well some people live for the theme nights and there were some good costumes.Since we were at sea for the evening parties and the weather was a bit too windy/cold to have the dances on the pool deck, all of the dances were inside at the Bar at the Top of the Hill Overlooking the Ocean.Which was fine, but my attempts to take pictures were hindered by the fog machines that diffused the flash and washed out the pics.But I tried.DJ Warren Gluck spun that night and it was great.Plus I could stay up late because we were at sea the next day.
Now I love sea days.There’s no rushing to get breakfast before your excursions.There’s no rushing at all.Get up when you want.Do you own thing.Just kick back.And despite my fears, the weather was again amazing and even with the ship underway it was quite pleasant laying out on the pool deck.Now I did go to the gym first, but then it was back to my lounge chair Olympics.And I was burning through some of the books that I had brought.And every once in awhile I would take a little stroll around the pool deck and the solarium to check out the scenery.It was really quite nice.
And you’ve got to give it to Atlantis for their entertainment.It rocks. After a good 4-5 hours of laying out, I headed down to Dixie Longate’s Bingo Extravaganza.Bingo you’re thinking?Yeah, not so much.But I love Dixie.She’s just hilarious and it was worth it to listen to “Oh-69” to hear her vicious and amusing quips.One of my favorite lines, “I’ll beat the bleach off your teeth.”Just too funny.She rocks!And she’s apparently going on a national tour so I definitely want to get a group together for when she comes to DC.
After Dixie it was time for the traditional Dog Tag Dance.Now, this is always one of the best dances on the ship.Lots of opportunity to flirt and to check out who’s single, who’s partners, and which partners are willing to play.So lots of fun and finally some good pics of the hot guys on the ship.
That night, it was the Atlantis Comedy Showcase with Jim David, Shann Carr, and Alec Mapa.Now Jim and Shann are regulars on the Atlantis cruises and are just hilarious.Both had great new material.Apparently Shann got asked if she was from “that ship” in Warnemunde.So apparently the local folk do know we are coming.But Alec Mapa was the hit of the evening.Just too funny and I loved some of his jokes, but they are definitely NSFW.He did make the comment that he was originally afraid to come on a gay cruise.That it would be this floating orgy and that he’d be stuck in a hot tub with some cracked out porn star who was deep in a K-hole.It was just too funny.After that, I caught the tail end of the dating game starring some guy from DC.Who apparently confirmed to the whole ship that he’s basically a slut.Hey, truth in advertising I guess. I'm sure he won't be lonely.
And then finally it was time for the Conquest party at the Bar Around the Corner On Top of the Island in the Middle of the Ocean.So you were supposed to dress up as Vikings, Cossacks, kings, or serfs or just whatever you wanted to wear.So seriously, what does a Cossack wear?I’m just not that gay.I wore shorts and a tank top.I figured that was good enough.DJ Abel again who killed.I think I made it to 2AM before crashing.I had a relatively early tour in Tallinn the next day.
So I've got a new "friend" at the gym. Well let me clarify that. So I knew this guy like 4 years ago who went to my gym when I lived in VA. And when I say knew him, I mean the nod your head, ask about the weather, more like a familiar, yet random, acquaintance. I guess he moved away, then moved back, and now goes to my gym. And suddenly we are like BFF.
Now first of all, I'm not a BFF type. At all!
Secondly, I'm not all chatty Cathy at the gym. I'm not saying that I'm anti-social, but I'm there to suffer, preferably in silence or listening to my nano, and then I want to go home. Okay, so maybe I am anti-social.
So to sit on the bike and just chat for 3o minutes is so not me.
And then, dude, I'm so NOT your BFF. Stop telling me stuff. I don't know you. You don't know me. I don't care about your friend who's addicted to Tina. Or what your friend's psychiatrist said. Or the time you put this guy on all fours and pounded away.
Please stop. Oh, dear Lord. Please stop. I don't want to know. I don't need to know. You must stop sharing. It's wrong. Very, very wrong.
