All About Trey

Sad or Pathetic?

Going out with a friend to JRs for New Years Eve, or staying home in warm pajamas watching bad TV.

posted by Trey @ 9:35 PM 0 comments

The Trouble With Love Is

Emotional update provided by Ms. Kelly Clarkson.

Labels: Despair, emotions, life, Love

posted by Trey @ 8:13 PM 0 comments

I Am An Emotional Coward

Not that this will come as a surprise to SuperLawyer and some other folks.

Long story. More to come. Maybe.

Labels: emotions, feelings

posted by Trey @ 10:25 AM 0 comments

People Watching

I had a couple of fun hours at the Denver airport yesterday. Again, I won't complain about any delays. I got home, and back, on the same day of travel, and with my luggage, so that's a success. Gee, my expectations about air travel can't quite get any lower, can they?

But back to Denver. The people watching was great! DCA is boring. Too many men in business suits. Dulles is okay. But the lines make people watching hard. Chicago is good. An interesting mix of business and pleasure travelers. Plus a lot of international travelers. Denver? Mainly pleasure travelers. It could be because of the holidays, but still it was interesting.

Apparently long hair on guys is in again. I missed that memo. I not only don't like long hair, but when it's not combed it makes some guys looks psycho. Not a good look. And I understand the need to dress comfortably while traveling, but does everyone need to be in sweats? If I ever thought you actually used them to work out it would be one thing, but these look like they are purely the lounging type of sweats. And having something written on your butt, when said butt is two feet wide, is again . . . not a good look. I'm just saying. Now, I will say that I was entranced by I'm sure the illegally young athletic team in their nice blue team sweats. Some of them were just too cute. And yes, I felt like a troll when I thought it, but still . . . .

And the blog survey of the day: How is Your Self Esteem?

Well this isn't too surprising:

You Have Low Self Esteem 64% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

Labels: life, travel

posted by Trey @ 8:41 PM 0 comments

Home for a (working) Holiday!

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't even supposed to go home for the holidays. I had gone to visit my sister in Paris, and I was just going to spend a quiet Christmas in DC, curled up in bed hibernating till the new year. But my sister guilted me to going home for the holidays. "It will be the first time in 42 years that Mom and Dad will be alone," she said. And I'm a good son. Or try to be. So I bought an exhorbitant plane ticket to CO.

Yes, CO. Not Denver, but the flight on Friday was hellish. Only a mere 5 hour delay in Chicago. But I'm not going to bitch. I was lucky. Really lucky. I ran into so many people who had been trying to get somewhere for 2 days. The wait list to COS was over a hundred people long. Just so sad. So while my flight wasn't good, I got home.

And promptly went to work. The big chore was to get rid of the behemoth TV they have in the den. It was hard for Dad and I to get it out and into the Big Wheel (his truck). I can't imagine if he had tried to do it on his own. It would not have been pretty. Then we got the new LCD TV up and installed. It's sweet. I can't wait till I get one. Then it was time for tech support. I cleaned up Mom's PC: de-frag, virus check, spyware check, ad-aware check. Updated her IE. I'm working on Dad's also. He's got an ancient PC that runs Windows 98 SE. I keep telling him that he needs to update, but he won't listen.

It's quiet here. I miss my neice and nephew and my sister of course. But they are all asleep now in Paris. We'll talk with them tomorrow. So that will be good.

Here's wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a very peaceful holiday.

Labels: Christmas, Home

posted by Trey @ 7:08 PM 0 comments

The Gift Gap . . . .

. . . . or also known as the Dating Dilemna. It usually only happens a couple of timesd a year, usually around holidays, but it's enough to strike fear in the heart of anyone who is in a relationship. Say you meet someone in October. You start dating and like a ticking time bomb, the holidays start to approach. So you're seeing each other, but you haven't had the official talk. The are we really boyfriends, or just friends, discussion. And of course, being the emotional coward that you are, you don't really want to bring it up. You want to revel in the dream that you are boyfriends so why let something like reality bring you a lump of coal for Christmas?

Now living my normally monastic life, I've managed to avoid the Dating Dilemna. But not this year. This year I find myself seeing someone I like a lot, but don't want to blow it when it comes to the Dating Dilemna. I wish there was some sort of rule or thumb to address this situation. Something like:

Dating less than 1 month: Bottle of Wine.
Dating 2-3 months: A small personal gift.
Dating 4-6 months: A larger personal gift (especially if you are seeing each other exclusively).
And after 6 months? Then you really need help. If you can't figure out what to get your boyfriend, then you really need to rethink the relationship.

So, wading into unfamiliar waters and wary of a potential rip tide or whirlpools (what if I get something that's obviously too expensive, or too cheap, i.e. the Gift Gap?), I decided to go with Sporn: the combination of Sports and Porn, where straight male athletes strike gay porn poses. Yes, I know, sporn? But seriously, the s Dieux du Stade is the highest quality of Sporn. Ahem, need I say more?
Okay, so nothing says I really like you like a calendar of half naked HOT rugby players. But still.

And what did I get in return. A gift certificate for a massage. I think I lost this round. His gift is much better than mine, and probably more expensive. Crap! Now I'll have to figure out a way to make it up to him!

Labels: Christmas, gifts, sporn

posted by Trey @ 7:04 PM 0 comments

Episcolypse Now

I love Jon Stewart. He did a great bit about the Episcopal Church that just killed me. I've stolen the title from him. Well the great Anglican blogosphere is up in arms about the schism, though many don't use that term in order to minimize what is happening. And to put some perspective on it I think. We are just talking a few churches, but it will remain to be seen whether this was just the beginning of the exodus, or just an isolated event.

Anyways, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who understands that this was something that started a long time ago, and is just now coming out into the light. Some of my favorite bits:

The Daily Episcopalian: "The members of Truro and the Falls Church have now declared that belonging to a church that permits gays and lesbians to become bishops is too great a tax on their conscience, while belonging to a church that believes gay people should be imprisoned for eating together in public is not."

From Harold Meyerson in the Post: "Explaining the decision to leave the American church, Vicki Robb, a Fairfax parishioner and Alexandria public relations exec, told The Post's Bill Turque and Michelle Boorstein that the church's leftward drift has made it "kind of embarrassing when you tell people that you're Episcopal." It must be a relief to finally have an archbishop who doesn't pussyfoot around when gays threaten to dine in public. The alliance of the Fairfax Phobics with Archbishop Restaurant Monitor is just the latest chapter in the global revolt against modernity and equality . . ."

From Stephen Bates: "Truro church and Falls church have made it quite clear that they have been disenchanted with the Episcopal church's liberal-leaning leadership for a long time, looking for an excuse to go. Virtually nothing could have persuaded them to stay. Although the proximate cause may have been the election three years ago of the openly gay bishop of New Hampshire, Gene Robinson, the real causes lie in a fundamental disagreement over the nature of Anglicanism and a determination to wrest it from its broad and tolerant roots into a more evangelical, conservative direction."

And "These groups have chosen homosexuality as a defining issue because they believe it is something that will unite and mobilise sympathisers in a way that other current issues in the church, such as women's ordination, have not been able to do. There is still a visceral distaste for the idea of homosexuality and the prejudice against it can be characterised not as bigotry but as something sanctioned by a few (and there are only a few) references in the Bible. Interestingly, the same mobilisation in defence of biblical orthodoxy does not seem to apply to other facts of life about which the Bible's authors were quite as adamant, pre-eminently divorce. Surely this can't be - can it? - because many more folk have experience of divorce in their families these days than of homosexuality, and that even some of the most outspoken evangelical leaders are themselves divorced."

So why do I care about all of this fuss? It's hard to explain. Sure I was born and raised an Episcopalian, but then I fell away from the chuch. It was too hard to try to reconcile my sexuality, and my place in the world, with some of the preachings I had heard. But I came back, and I sort of fell into a place where I appreciated, understand, and truly believe in the power of God as described and preached in the Episcopal Church.

I like this description from Bruce Bawer: "Anglicanism, I'd discovered, isn't for those who see the Bible as a rigorous rule book and infallible history but for those who recognize it as a kind of poetry. It isn't for those who wanted the smug satisfaction of "knowing" that they're saved and that others aren't, but for those who respond to the radically inclusive message of Jesus, who rejected the rules and taboos that divided people, and tribes, from one another."

While all of this intercine squabbling is going on, big kudos to the Presiding Bishop for keeping her eyes on the ball: "Our mission as a Church is the reconciliation of the world. We will continue to feed the hungry, house the homeless, educate children, heal the sick, minister to those in prison, and speak good news to those who have only heard the world's bad news. That is the work to which Jesus calls us, and that is the work we shall continue - with a priority of peace and justice work framed by the Millennium Development Goals. May God bless that which seeks to unite and build up and heal this broken world."

Labels: Anglican, Episcopal Church

posted by Trey @ 3:28 PM 2 comments

The Great Anglican Schism

Yesterday marked the beginning of the great Anglican Schism here in America. Several churches, almost within earshot of the National Cathedral, voted to secede from The Episcopal Church of the United States of America (ECUSA). I really shouldn’t say this is the beginning. This moment has been years in the making and there was much preparation for this event. But I’m sure historians will mark this date as the beginning of the Great Anglican Schism. And I weep. I really do. I rarely talk about religion. My relationship with God is mine. But I don’t talk about it. That’s something that we Episcopalians just don’t do. We aren’t evangelicals, but don’t question our faith.

So the succession of the churches in Virginia, and there will be more to come, is hurtful. I want to go to Truro and talk to them. To ask them questions. What is it about Bishop Robinson’s sexuality that forces you to leave the greater Episcopal Church in this country? I know my conversation will serve no purpose. There’s no reasoning or logic, this is an emotional argument. But I still have to try. Is there an 11^th Commandment that forbids homosexuality or sodomy? No. What did Jesus say about homosexuality? Nothing. Why must you cling to the literal interpretation of scripture that was written over a thousand years ago and translated innumerable times when it comes to homosexuality, but ignore those same interpretations when it comes to eating shell fish, or touching pigs skin, or divorce? There are no logical answers to those questions from those who oppose Bishop Robinson. They are so wrapped up in their own belief system that they refuse to look at, or even consider, anything that undermines their position. So arguing with them on what caused them to take this draconian step is futile.

But I can’t give up. I believe in one holy apostolic church. So I have to ask, why must you do this? New Hampshire is a long way from Virginia. How can Bishop Robinson effect you and your faith and service to God? Bishop Lee, the Bishop of Virginia, even accepted the affront of being asked not to come to your parishes and instead offered to send Bishops who hadn’t been “tainted” by the vote for Robinson as you so implied. But apparently this wasn’t good enough. Again I ask, how can this effect your faith, your calling, your service to God?

I ask in all sincerity, please explain this to me because I really can’t understand it.

The parishes that seceded had recently completed a discernment process, 40 days to think about what they wanted to do, where they wanted to go as a parish. But I suspect that those 40 days were just window dressing on a decision made months, if not years ago. It is interesting to note in the declaration that these parishes made, that they “voted” to keep their property. More interesting is that it was over a year ago that a state representative who attends Truro tried to pass a bill in Virginia that would have intervened in Church law and allowed the parish to do just that. No, the vote yesterday was just a sad formality. So resolute in their beliefs, no compromise, no concessions, would satisfy them.

When these parishes fight for the property, when they hire lawyers to gain control of the physical church property, look at where the money comes from to pay for these lawyers. Will it come from within the parish, or will it come from those who have some sort of agenda to fight? I think there is more to this that meets the eye.

And a final question for my brothers and sisters in Truro, what would Jesus think of the millions of dollars spent to claim the temple, while the poor and hungry and sick of the world continue to suffer?

“Let us pray for the whole state of Christ’s church, and the world.”

Labels: Anglican, Episcopal Church

posted by Trey @ 8:54 PM 2 comments

Oh The Places You'll Go (2006 version)

Umm, or where I went. I did have a cool powerpoint thing that showed all of my travel this year, but I can't embed it in blogger for some reason. It looks weird. But let's start from the beginning.

Jan-Feb: Cruise: Miami, Cozumel, Grand Caymen. Labadee, Miami
Feb: Harrisburg & Carlyse PA
Mar: San Diego, CA
May: Cancun
Jun: Chicago, San Diego, New Jersey
Jul: Boston, Provincetown
Aug: San Diego, Boston, Martinsburg WVA, Charleston SC
Aug-Sep: Cruise: Zurich, Athens, Santorni, Dubrovnik, Venice, Mesena, Naples, Barcelona.
Sep: San Francisco
Oct: Lost River, WVA
Nov: San Diego, Paris
Dec: Colorado Springs

So I don't travel all the time. See, I didn't go anywhere at all in April!

Wow, maybe I do have a problem. Just because I recognize I have a travel addiction problem doesn't mean I have to do anything about it, right? Cause I'm planning for 2007 now!

Labels: travel

posted by Trey @ 1:45 PM 0 comments

My Little Soiree!

Was a great success! I had a great group of friends join me at the Ultra-Hip Lounge for some drinks. Some work friends, some Navy friends, some gay friends, and it was all good. I did have a savory winter mojito or two (okay fine 3, but it WAS my birthday, so back off!). Which I needed when my dear, dear, DEAR friends decided to sing Happy Birthday, really loudly, not ONCE, but yes TWICE. And shouting out my age at the end. Love you. Mean it! But seriously it was good to catch up with a lot of friends who I don't see nearly enough. I really do need to get my passport out and visit Virginia more often. ;-)

After a couple of drinks, the more responsible ones were bitching about needing food (just a sign that we're all getting old) and so we headed over to the new joint on the block. Good solid greasy pub food. It was perfect! And then we came back to my place where we had some Carrot Cake. Mmmm, the sweet cream cheese icing makes me drool right now. It was delish!

Apparently my wishlist at Tiffany's, Saks, and Porsche was ignored and somehow I got just a ton of booze. Which was all good. I'm set for New Years!

Anyways, like the old man that I apparently am now, I was asleep by 11 PM. I mean, come on, it was a Tuesday night!

Oddly enough, I think I'm pretty excited about the next 40 or so years!

Labels: 40

posted by Trey @ 9:27 PM 0 comments

If Today Is Your Birthday (and it is!)

It's your year to exclaim, "Freedom at last!" You have fewer people to answer to and therefore, will become more comfortable using your intuitive skills. You won't be able to rationally explain the project you're mired in through February, but your enjoyment is immense. The money follows. Cancer and Pisces people and adore you.

LOVE THIS HOROSCOPE!!

Labels: 40, life

posted by Trey @ 11:04 AM 0 comments

I turn 40 . . . . .

tomorrow.

And I'm good so far. More to come. But in the mean time, here I am.


(Dubrovnik, Venice, San Francisco, San Juan Islands, Ptown, Puerto Rico, Joshua Tree National Park, Denmark, Denmark, Arlington, Key West, Washington DC, Ireland, Australia, Mexico, and Australia)

Labels: 40, life

posted by Trey @ 9:48 PM 0 comments

It's All About Street Cred!

So I'll be honest and say I've wimped out of some of the post company party plans these past couple of years. See after my second company holiday party, where I decided to do Gin & Tonics with beer chasers, I went with the young turks out to Gtown to hit Old Gory for a little after party partying. And all I really remember is walking in, having one shot, and then realizing, with the utmost clarity, that I really only wanted one thing in life. TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE RIGHT FRAKKN THEN!!! It was do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly home and hug the porcelain goddess all night. Yes, it was not pretty. It was so bad, that I think I still felt bad on Monday when I went to work.

So I've managed to find some sort of excuse to skip out, or sometimes just sneak out, of the holiday party for the last couple of year before the roll call for the trek into Gtown.

But this year I decided to live dangerously. Maybe it the immenent arrival of the big 4-0, but I decided to go for it. But being older, and wiser, I decided to mellow out on the drinking at the party before we even got to Gtown. Alternating Cape Cods and water (or soda), I was a very responsible drinker and actually felt pretty good when it was time to make the trek to Gtown.

Now, I can't tell you the last time I've been in a bar in Gtown. Or a straight pick up bar for that matter. And why am I paying a cover charge if there isn't a dance floor or DJ? Nevermind. Old Gory was packed. With lots of guys with very short haircuts, and with lots of girls with lots of cleavage. Funny how things happen like that. And I've forgotten how bad some people get when they are drunk. There were two guys in santa hats who were so drunk that they could barely stand up. You'd think they were in a k-hole. I can't believe the bartender was still serving them.

But it was fun to hang out and have a couple of beers, a couple of shots, and then mostly importantly, a couple of glasses of water, with the young turks at my company. I was still fairly coherent, but tired, when I bailed around 0230AM. Needless to say, I've got my street cred with the guys (and gals) from my company for atleast a year!

Labels: drinking, party, work

posted by Trey @ 9:53 PM 0 comments

I sneeze . . . .

and then I feel it. The pain that seems to erupt from my shoulders, back, neck, and chest. And not a quick pain, but a nice building crescendo of pain that overwhelms me so that I'm double over for a good 15 or more seconds as it washes over me and then finally begins to subside. I fear for the next sneeze. The next wave of pain.

So I'm sick. I've been trying to fight it for a while. The scratchy throat. The stuffy head. The runny nose. It all sounds so sexy, doesn't it?

It doesn't help that I'm pretty much running myself ragged at work. Too much to do, not enough time, so the same ole stuff.

The good news is that I'll probably be sick for my company holiday party. I'm sure the combination of cold medicine and alcohol will blunt the pain and madness of the evening's "fesitivities".

Labels: sick, work

posted by Trey @ 9:13 PM 0 comments

Alternate Ending 3

Sydney Morning Herald
March 8, 2054

Insert Real Name (IRN for short) died yesterday at his home in Nelson Bay, NSW at the age of 88. IRN, known as Trey, and his husband of 41 years, Ian Smith, have owned and managed the Capt Nelson’s Inn for almost 30 years. Trey, immigrated to Australia in 2008. A graduate from the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis MD, and Georgetown University in Washington DC, he served in the U.S. Navy for over 11 years. Trey left the U.S. Navy in 2001 and worked in the information technology field in the Washington DC area until he moved to Sydney in 2008. Shortly after arriving in Sydney, he founded the gay travel company, OutAdventures, which specialized in GLBT vacations and adventures in Australia, New Zealand, and the South Pacific. In 2011 he met his husband Ian Smith and they were married in 2013. After 16 years, Trey sold OutAdventures to the American gay travel company, Atlantis, and moved to Nelson Bay, NSW where he and Ian bought the Nelson Bay Bed and Breakfast and then renamed it Capt Nelson’s Inn. Trey is survived by his husband Ian, 89, their son Nick, and his sister who lives in Colorado Springs, CO, USA.

Labels: life

posted by Trey @ 10:21 AM 0 comments

Porn, Lame Sex, and Bad Acting

And I'm sure that title will kick me up in the Google rankings!

Last night SanFranJ and I watched Dante's Cove. Okay, it's tag line is: Undressed and possessed. I guess that should have given us a fair warning. OH . . . DEAR. . . . God. It was awful. Seriously. While I am all for hot sweaty muscular men partially (or more) naked wandering around the screen, the show was just too laughable for words. I guess I'm conditioned now where I expect my porn to be hot, heavy, and explicit (And I'm fairly certain all of those are NSFW). And in return, I accept that the acting is bad. I'm not watching it for the plot if you know what I mean. On the other hand, if I'm watching non-porn, then I expect plot, acting, some sort of semblance of reality. Dante's Cove was like a soft porn tease where all of the "actors" were young greek gods who thought pursing their lips made them look deep. And explain to me how there can lightening inside the library? When it's sunny out? And the setting is hotel, but there are no guests? Oh, and the theme song? "I'm dying to be with you?" Please spare me. Other hand, did I mention that it was filled with hot, muscled, sweaty, partially (or more) naked men? So there might be some redeeming value to it.

Labels: Porn, Sex, TV

posted by Trey @ 7:51 PM 0 comments