Wow, I guess I was a little prescient last night. Well it's not really a rant about the Anglican Community, but these words from Bishop Robinson better express how I feel than I could possibly write about what amounts to an ultimatum from the Anglican Community:
"How will we explain this 'forbearance' to all those gay and lesbian Christians who have come to the Episcopal Church because, for the first time ever, they have believed that there is a place for them at God's table, not simply beneath it, hoping for fallen scraps?"
And . . .
"Does anyone believe that our full compliance with the primates' demands, our complete denunciation of our gay and lesbian members or my removal as bishop would make all this go away?" he asked. "For the first time in its history and at the hands of the larger communion, the Episcopal Church may be experiencing a little taste of the irrational discrimination and exclusion that is an everyday experience of its gay and lesbian members."
I completely agree. I think we're already beyond the breaking point. I don't see the Bishop Akinola agreeing to stop his colonization of America and slowly destroying the Episcopal Church of the United States.
As my rector paraphrased the Dixie Chicks last Sunday: "I’m not ready to make nice—not ready to back down—still mad as hell”!
Between fasting yesterday and the "system flush" I had to do in preparation for this, I lost five pounds. Probably not the best, or most fun, way to lose weight. But I'll take what I can get. I ended up metro-ing and then cabbing to the hospital this AM, jamming to my new iPod, and then spent some quality time just waiting. Unlike my previous experience doing this, I was supposed to get drugs this time. And supposedly they did give them to me, but I still felt everything. And I mean everything. It was sort of like this:
Okay, maybe not that bad. ;-)
So my professional life and my personal life are pretty compartmentalized. When I'm at work, I'm busy doing work stuff and I rarely think about personal stuff. I've never fantasized about someone at work, or anything like that. It's all professional. But I was at a meeting yesterday at another company and this guy walked in and I'm like, Day-um! He's hot in that business man kind of way. Good build. Nice blond hair (and I'm usually attracted to guys with dark hair). Nice arms. It was ALL working for me. And of course he sat down next to me and I really had a hard time not staring. Okay, I stared at him a bit. And the funny thing? He's got a total porn star name. I did see that he wasn't wearing a ring. But that could mean a lot of things. Anyways, I'd love to figure out a way to find out if he's gay, but that's not something I can just throw out there.
Vocabulary and words. In my line of work, we all speak DoD-ese. If you aren't comfortable with acronyms, and acronyms of acronyms, you're not going to survive long. And I love that each industry and field has their own lingo. When I was down in SoBe with SuperLawyer I learned about "medmal" and "dramshop". Anyways, there's an alcoholic company that I work with a lot that uses the term "thought leadership" and that term makes me want to get violent. Like clockwork orange violent. This term gets bandied about like it's a good thing when what it really means is that you're trying to brainwash someone (usually the government). Now every company has an agenda, and I understand that, but to be so open and brazen about your intentions just kills me. How about this, how about just bring up a good idea with the facts and technology to support it. I don't know. They are consultants, so maybe that's their job. But I actually want to get something done, and all of the time and energy spent on "thought leadership" makes me want to puke.
Whew! Glad I got that off my chest. ;-)
I haven't ranted about the Anglican Community later and the ultimatim in Tanzania. I'm still thinking about it. I'll probably post about that soon.
So ironically enough, in mid January I set the date for my Winter Blues Party. January and February are kind of dreary, and throw in Valentine's Day for the singles crowd, and it's just downright depressing. So that's why I thought I Winter Blues party would be fun. Dress in blue, drink blue drinks, and toast to an early spring. And it was fun. The key? White Cranberry juice with blue food coloring! I think we went through 2 1/2 big bottles of Grey Goose. And it was a small crowd. Probably no more than 10. But the gays can drink. Anyways, I woke up with a small hangover, looked out the window, and said an ugly word. SNOW! Ugh.
After church I decided to walk down to the mall and take some pics. So here you go!
So I like to think that I've got a thick skin, that I'm resilient, and in some instances that's true. And in some instances I'm as fragile as an egg shell and just saying the wrong thing to me can send me into a pretty bad death spiral.
One of my bad triggers is constructive criticism. Hmm, and maybe that's not it exactly. Maybe it's the re-inforced criticism, after I've already agreed to change what I'm doing, the rubbing it in my nose that annoys me. I'm my own worst enemy in overreacting and blaming myself for stuff. I'm really hard on myself and I don't need the constructive criticism repeated.
So I'm in a meeting today. A telecon, but there was one other guy not from my company there in the room with us. And while it was an important meeting, I'm also going to be out of the office for the next 2.5 days and I've got stuff I need to do. So I was trying to multi-task and I dropped synch from the conversation. The second time I got asked a question and had to ask to have the question repeated, my former boss snapped that we shouldn't be doing work during the telecon. I wasn't the only one. But I stopped. I focused on the meeting at hand excluding everything else. And it went okay.
After the meeting, after most people had left, my former boss reiterated his comment about how we shouldn't do be working during a telecon. And this is where the problem is. I agree with him. Don't get me wrong. But I stopped. And I won't do that again. But I don't need to be told twice, nor in front of other people including one my own guys. It made me feel like a second grader getting busted for shooting spit balls or something.
Which then got me pissed. This meeting is pretty much a direct result of some work that I've been doing. If we get this work, it won't come to my group, and that's okay. But I don't want to be treated like a second grader. And the more I thought about it, the more I got mad. And I know this is blowing this completely out of proportion, but that's the way it was. After he left, I went down to my office and I pretty much didn't do anything. I had just shut down. Thankfully it was almost five and then I went to the gym.
The good news is sometimes that type of incident also involved me either coming home and napping and/or eating something not healthy. But atleast I went to the gym.
Okay, some random bits:
- Have you heard this radio commercial about some local news expose about aging meat in butcher shops? I'm sure it's a real problem, but the way the commercial end just kills me: "Is your meat past it's prime." Hello! That's a line from a porn movie if I've ever heard one.
- Lou frakin Dobbs! The subject of race relations and politics is the subject and he's going to interview the new Governor of Massachusetts who's only the second African American governor since Emancipation. WTF? Like there were so many African American governor's before Emancipation? That's like saying, Nancy Pelosi, the first female Speaker of the House since Suffrage. I can't figure out why they say it that way unless the "Second African American Governor ever" sounds so much worse. It does. But that's also the reality. But adding non sequitor qualifers in describing these people is just a sham. But then, we are talking Lou Dobbs.
I can rationalize that my failure to go out on Friday night was due to being tired after working all week on a proposal. And I did go out briefly on Saturday during the day. But I killed my plans to go out on Saturday night when I realized that I was having trouble getting into a pair of my jeans. Getting depressed about how big I am is usually not a good mindset to have when going to JRs and seeing the S&M crowd. And other than a couple of trips today (church, volunteer gig, and lunch date), I've curled up in my condo all weekend. Sad and pathetic, or just catching up on some much needed rest, or hibernating and hiding from the world? You chose. Regardless, I''ve been able to spend some quality time with Sandra. And yes I have Netflix movies I need to watch. And yes I have a ton of Tivo stuff I need to watch. But Ms. Bullock just beguiles me and I get sucked into watching really bad TV. Speed, Ms. Congeniality, 28 Days, even Murder By Numbers. I watched them all. Well, not really Murder By Numbers. I'm a bit too squeamish for it. But I channel surfed through it spotting Ms. Bullock there. If I had seen The Net it would have been perfect. The Net has one of my favorite quotes:
Cyberbob: So what do U want in a man? Angela Bennett: Butch, beautiful, brilliant, Captain America meets Albert Schweitzer. Spends all day dashing into fray while making world safe for democracy; at night playing Bach cantatas while curing cancer.
The Wheel of Time turns, and ages come and pass, leaving memories and traditions that become legend and rituals. In the early 21st century, a wind rose above the towering majestic cathedral in Canterbury. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.
Born in a cold, grey dawn on a mid February morning, the wind raced around the Crown Tower, built to house the crown of St. Thomas' head which was struck off when he was murdered so many years ago. Eastward, and south, the wind howled, crossing the English Channel, one of a hundred winds blowing across the continent. But this wind was different, it had a purpose. South it continued, riding high on heat currents as it crossed the Mediterranean and the hot North African desert. It weakened as it approached the equator, but turned eastward picking up strength as it passed the oil refineries in Nigeria, the poverty stricken villages, the huge orphanages for children who not only have AIDS, but lost their parents to the disease as well. The wind crossed central Africa turning south and flowing along the plains of the Serengeti with the great Mount Kilimanjaro in the distance. Onwards the wind blew, slowing as it approached the Indian Ocean and the city of Dar Es Salaam. The wind crept into the beachside resort creating little whirlwinds in the courtyard that pulled at the cassocks of the Anglican Primates as they scurried from one meeting to the next, avoiding members of the opposition and giving them the barest of courtesies.
My apologies for Robert Jordan for stealing this analogy, but every report I've read from Dar Es Salaam talks about the various rival groups, plotting, secretively in different corners of the resort. It reminds me of the Aes Sedai, their Ajahs, and the plotting and politics within the White Tower and around the world. The greatest irony in my little analogy is that there is only one female at Dar Es Salaam and she's surrounded by men. My thoughts and prayers go out to Bishop Jefferts-Schori. She's going to need all of her strength, patience, intelligence, and deep love, knoledge, and understanding of God to be able to deal with the swirling maelstrom of hate and discontent that is going to try to ridicule and belittle her. I definitely think she's the right person, at the right time, at the right place to fight against the schismatics and help make our Church stronger.
Well maybe not rich and famous. How about cheap but connected?
Anyways, I just got back from South Beach and I just can't WAIT for the snow. Really! All of the sun, hot men, heat, hot men, mojitos, hot men, and um . . . hot men was really too much for me. So bring on the cold, the snow, and sexless bundles of humans wrapped in jackets, scarves, ear muffs. Bring it ON!
Hmm where was I? Oh yes, hot men, South Beach. That's right.
So SuperLawyer had to go down to "work" at a convention. And who was I to say no to a free hotel room on the ocean in South Beach. We stayed here and it was very nice. And I say "work" because the convention is from 730AM to 1PM. Because heaven forbid some lawyers miss their T-times. But anyways. We flew down Friday and when we got off the plane it was like heaven. Warm, sunny, a nice breeze. It was just divine. We actually had to run a whole bunch of errands on Friday and set up the booth, but afterwards we got cleaned up and walked down Ocean Drive to find a nice place to have our first mojitos of the evening and some appetizers since we had eaten a late lunch. Mind you it wasn't that late, but we had a hard time finding someplace where the music wasn't so loud that we could hear each other talk. We finally settled on a place, had a couple of mojitos each, a couple of apps, and the bill was over $90. Hello South Beach!!! After that we bailed since someone had to "work" in the AM.
On Saturday, after SuperLawyer went to work. I hit the hotel gym (outside, but the elliptical was rusting, kind of sad), got cleaned up, and then hit the gay beach. Let me tell you, the weather was just ab-so-lute-ly amazing. I got to the beach late in my time, but early in gay time. I got there around 1045ish, and got a good spot. $9 for a lounge chair on the beach! Nice. Anyways, I proceeded to a lather up and watch the hotties wake up from their hard night of partying and make their way to the beach. And it was a good thing. Unfortunately SL called for me to go hit a reception with him with free booze (again, I think it's a lawyer thing). So I left the hot, sunny, beautiful beach to go have free drinks. It was a mistake, but I'll live. Anyways, we had a couple of bad mojitos, grabbed some lunch, and then hit the pool at the hotel. Now the hotel does this thing where there are these bed you can lounge in by the pool. Nice. But this is South Beach. At our hotel, it was $100 a day. Makes my $9 lounge chair on the beach seem like a steal, doesn't it. That night, we did a running of the receptions. First we went to hear Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden speak. He was good. And warmly recieved. A couple of times he got off tangent and I can see where people say he talks too much and it gets him in trouble. Anyways, good speech, but then it was time for drinks. So we got 4 drinks each at this reception and free food. Which was nice! And then SL knows people, so we wandered over to the Ritz Carlton to crash Joe Biden's $1000 plate fundraiser! Now, the Ritz Carlton is nice, very nice. Okay, it puts our place to shame. And have you heard about the tanning butlers? Yes they have butlers poolside to make sure your back is properly lotioned so you don't get burned. Now that's service. We were at the reception early and I told SL that I would buy the first round of drinks and he looked at me. "Honey, at a $1000 a plate dinner, the drinks are free." I'm such a novice at all of this stuff. But let me tell you, the Ritz Carlton had the BEST mojitos hands down! So we grabbed a couple and are chatting when all of a sudden someone's come up and put his hand on my shoulder and I turn and it's the man himself! Joe Biden. So this was my first opportunity to meet someone like that up close and personal and it was kind of cool, but also kind of daunting I guess. Anyways, he chatted with us for a few and then I think he got pulled away to talk with someone who had paid for this shin-dig. Unfortunately by this point all of the alcohol is getting to me and we call it a night.
Sunday the weather has started to turn. Just out of sheer stubborness I go to the beach, pay my $9, and sit there almost shivering. It's a overcast, and a bit cool, and definitely breezey. If it hadn't been for the wind, I probably would have stuck it out, but when SL called about more free booze, I was like Sure! Why Not! So it was back for more free drinks. Then we hit Grill Fish (which has a sister restaurant here in DC!) and then a bit of a disco nap. But not a long one as SL was hosting a reception for some folks he works with. So it was off to Lincoln Road where SL's reception was going to happen. Lincoln Road Mall is this huge pedestrian out door mall which is just packed with uber trendy restaurants, hipster bars and lounges, and all sorts of boutiques and clothes stores. So it's like gay heaven. Anyways, I was limiting myself to a glass or two of white wine when who shows up? Former governor of Iowa, and Democratic presidential candidate: Tom Vilsack! (Quick: Think of the duck in the insurance company commercial and say it with me: "Aflack!!") Apparently some of the big wig lawyers at SL's reception know him and so he stayed for a good hour and then bailed. After the reception (where I kind of had more than just a glass or two of white wine) we wandered down Lincoln Road Mall till I found this gallery I had seen last time: Howard Austin Feld. So a little bit tipsy on white wine, I did a little impusle shopping and got a small print of this. So this is officially the first piece of gay art I've bought. Afterwards, we wandered a bit back towards the hotel and then we went to Emerils for some very sinfully delicious desserts.
Unfortunately due to work issues, I had to come home early. And I missed my opportunity for a political triple. As I went to go say good bye to SL at the convention, I saw them posting signs for a reception for John Edwards. Tickets available at the door. For $1000. Hmmm, maybe not.
Anyways, I need to do that much more often. South Beach was fun, even if it wasn't G-A-Y!!! But that's okay. Some quality time on the beach with a book, some nice mojitos overlooking the ocean at sunset, some nice dinners in nice restaurants. It doesn't suck. At All.
Oh well, back to reality and back to the snow. Ugh!
1. Showing up early. Way early! Getting to the job interview early is important, but if you get there too early, it's potentially weird and puts the interviewers off their schedule. Go grab some coffee or take a quick walk around the block.
2. Fashion Faux Pas # 1. If for some strange reason you ran out of dark socks to go with your black suit, and end up wearing white athletic socks, then make a joke about it. "I was so excited about coming into the interview that I just didn't realize that I had white socks on." Or something like that.
3. Fashion Faux Pas #2. Don't wear a lanyard emblazoned with your current company's name on a job interview with another company. Nothing says I'm a piece of corporate property like a lanyard at a job interview. Maybe just take it off and put in your pocket.
4. Answer the question. If for example I ask if you're interested in X, Y, or Z, then I'm probably looking for an answer that's either X, or Y, or Z. Maybe a combination if appropriate, but I need an answer. Talking for 20 minutes without really giving me an answer to my question does give me an answer. And probably not the one you meant to give.
5. Don't talk too much. Yes it's good to put a lot of information out there so you can give your prospective employer a lot of data to help him make his decision. But throwing gobs of information out there in no semblance of a coherent thought or cogent point gives the impression that you like to talk, and that you don't really understand what you're talking about. In addition, if you're rambling to the point where the interviewer can't ask another question, you're talking too much. Stop. And take a deep breath!
So last night I braved the very artic weather we are having to attend a Friend of Friends cocktail party. It's a monthly cocktail party for mainly gay guys that's very non-stressful, non-networking, just a kind of hang out type of thing. They go to different venues every month so its also kind of cool way to check out new places.
Last night the gathering was at a new place east of the circle on P St called the Pasha Lounge. I wimped out and took a cab over and once I go there I stood outside a minute. First I needed to call GreekBoi to let him know that I was there, but secondly to look at the building and the adjoining Moroccan restaurant. It took me a second to realize that this new restaurant and lounge were housed in what use to hold Mr. P's, a very famous gay bar that closed several years ago. Jimbo has it right, Dupont just isn't that gay any more.
Anyways, I went in and got my name tag and then went straight to the bar. Without my wingman, I needed some alcoholic sustanence. I know the organizers tell the bar we are coming so they know to expect us, which makes me wonder why there just never seems to be enough bartenders! Anyways I got an Amstel Light and then proceeded to walk around. The crowd was actually pretty decent. When I first got there, I think the age range was probably averaging around low 40ish, but then as the evening progressed I think it got lower. As I wandered around nodding my head in recognition with the people I know/have met before from crew, or via Greek Boy and other friends, or from my gym (which I must now admit is probably 80% gay). I did chat for a while, but large crowds are bit imposing for an ISTJ like me. And without a wingman to work the crowd with, I sort of hung by the side of the crowd.
During one of the short conversations I had with someone I know through GreekBoi, I made the comment that I really didn't like the cheap glasses. The interior of the lounge is very nice, very hip, and then to get cheap plastic beer glasses didn't make sense. I understand plastic beer mugs, but these were actually plastic beer glasses. And it wasn't just the beer glasses. Plastic high ball glasses, plastic martini glasses? I just didn't get it. And then GreekBoi's friend clued me in to the fact that during the rest of the week, and very much so on weekends, this was a very straight club that apparently gets a little rowdy. So the assumption was made that to reduce the damage, they went with plastic glasses.
Which got me wondering if/when we would hear about some sort of club violence coming out of the Pasha Club kind of like what is happening up on U St or in Adams Morgan. Every other weekend or so you hear about some sort of disturbance, or fight, or even a stabbing or shooting at one of those clubs. Which got me wondering why that doesn't happen at gay clubs. (and yes I was a bit hungry at this point which may have attributed to my ADD).
Seriously, not that I'm a huge regular at all of the gay clubs in the area, but I don't think I've ever seen a real fight or disturbance at a gay club. Really. Sure I've seen some drama when two guys show up wearing the same outfit, or when some trick comes up to a couple who doesn't know that one of them's been cheating. But it's all been a little name calling. Nothing serious. There's no death threats, no pulling of knives, no flashing of guns. No waiting till they leave the club to have your gang beat them up. And what do you all a gang of gays? A posse? Hmm, sounds too similiar to pussy which means you know it's out.
Anyways, I don't know. I'm sure it happens. But I wonder how it compares statistically with the violence at straight clubs?
Lots of people are reassessing the status or purpose of their blogs and I've been thinking about mine as well. If you looked at my word cloud, it seems I have a tendency to harp on a select group of topics: the state of the Episcopal Church and the Anglican Communion, politics (local and national), the US's use of torture and our slowly fading civil rights, the war in Iraq. And then a couple of small abstract vague posts about me. Hmm, that wouldn't be me trying to avoid talking (or blogging) about how I feel now would it?
So here you go. It's really all about me.
Job. It's good. Busy, but not crazy busy. And I'm getting settled into my new position and I'm kind of digging working more normal hours and not feeling overwhelmed all the time. I'm sure that will change at some point, but right now I feel like I'm in a sweet spot right now, so I'm just going to let it ride.
Gym. It's there. And I go. Not as often as I should, but I'm trying. It's just SO hard to get up in the AM and go. Unfortunately I've been sabotaging myself when it comes to food, so I haven't lost any weight. But I think I'm ready for another push.
Travel. Well I'm off to South Beach this weekend with SuperLawyer. I'm hoping that being surrounded by a bunch of hot, tan, muscled hotties will finally help me overcome my fear of bulimia. And I'm planning a trip to Paris at the end of March to visit my sister and my niece and nephew. So that's good. I've got my two weeks in Europe this summer. And I've put a deposit down for Carnival week in Ptown. So now I just need to lose weight so I can be thin and fabulous by the time I go to all of these places.
Love life. Hmm, not so much. After sort of seeing someone for a while, he decided that he just wanted it to be casual. Which was a bummer as he was the first guy in a long, long, long time that I actually thought had a lot of good potential. And he's a great guy, I just think our timing sucked. So after taking a short dating break, I'm about to enter the dating world again.
Dan Savage's weekly column is called Savage Love, but his recent column about Mary Cheney should have been called Savage Hate. And I *LOVE* it!
Harsh, critical, unflinchingly honest and dead on target, I do cringe when I read the last paragraph. He talks about Mary needing to own up to what she's done and not done, said and not said:
"And you might want to have it all wrapped up before your kid is old enough to understand what’s being said about his family by your dad’s political allies. Take it from me, Mary: Explaining to your child, after he heard something hateful on the radio, that his family is very much “real,” that it’s not an attack on anyone else’s family, and that his parents are, in fact, fit to be his parents is as distressing and emotionally exhausting as it is unnecessary. And I blame you."
I cringe because it reminds me of the hateful things said about SuperLawyer and his fitness to raise his children. I wonder if Mary Cheney will ever really understand that human rights shouldn't be a political weapon or tool to be used against another human being.
The sad thing is that by the time Mary Cheney's child grows up, I truely believe that there will be equal rights for all gays and lesbians in the United States. And when he/she asks their Mommies what they did to help in that fight, will Mary claim that she helped the struggle, or will she lie to her child?
Back in the day, if you knew the term Gitmo, you were either in the Navy or the Marine Corps. Gitmo was slang for the Naval Base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. Now everyone knows about it. And like Abu Ghraib, not in a good way.
But how tainted, how shameful, how disgraceful is that name now?
"But civil liberties and immigration law groups allege that out of sight, the system is bursting at the seams. In the Texas facility, they say, illegal immigrants are confined 23 hours a day in windowless tents made of a Kevlar-like material, often with insufficient food, clothing, medical care and access to telephones."
And "An inspector general's report last month on a sampling of five U.S. immigration detention facilities found inhumane and unsafe conditions, including inadequate health care, the presence of vermin, limited access to clean underwear and undercooked poultry."
They broke the law, the US law, to come to America to find a better life. Instead they've been imprisoned.
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door."
Do you hear that? It's Lady Liberty crying silently.
That nice guys finished last, SuperLawyer lost his election on Tuesday night. Needless to say I’m very bummed.SL, just hands down, was a better candidate. He raised more money than his opponent, he kicked @ss at the debate, he had better campaign literature. He went from door to door to meet people.He worked the commuting lots in the AMs.He really went all out.He got his Mom to write letters to all of the senior citizens in the area and he even got a recommendation from John Walsh!He really was the better candidate.And this isn’t just me saying this.When I stood outside the polling place in the OMG freezing cold, the guy out there with me supporting the other candidate actually said it. “Jeff’s got more experience, he’s lived in the area longer, he’s got better recommendations and qualifications.”So there.
But he lost.I think there were two reasons why he lost.I think one has to do with the fact that it was a special election.It was the only race on the ballot and so turn out was really low.Really low.And secondly, PWC is still a very red area.Unforunately I think the dems and the independents just didn’t turn out the way he needed them to.
I try, I really try, to think that none of the hateful, homophobic crap that was on the blogs and some emails made a difference in the election.I like to think that the people writing and reading that crap had already made up their mind.But I’m still bitter about the accusations, the lies, the prevarications, and just blatant mis-information that was put out.SL is too good of a guy to have had to deal with that.
Some people are like, well why does anyone get into politics anyways?If your character is going to be assassinated?If your personal life is going to be examined in every minute detail? Why do you want to run for office anyways.And I really do suspect a lot of people’s motives for running for public off. But not SL’s.He’s actually one of the very few people who honestly just wants to make a difference, he wants to help people, and wants to make his community and where he raises his children a better place.
And isn’t that what’s important?And worth putting up with all of the micoscopic analysis of everything you’ve ever done, or ever said.I give big props to SL for having the integrity, guts, and courage to run for election.I hope he tries again some day.
